I miss him

[ElasticMagnetic]

I had this boyfriend that I broke up with about 2 weeks ago. We'd been going out for about 6 months, but it was downhill by the middle of month 4.

 

I didn't break up with him because I got tired of him or because he was suddenly annoying (though that did have something to do with it). I broke up with him because I had to.

 

He was a control freak. He'd do whatever it takes to get what he wants.

 

We argued a lot and he got upset if I didn't want to include him when I went out with my friends.

 

It wasn't always like that, though. When we WEREN'T fighting, he was the best boyfriend anyone could ask for.

 

But the arguments were too freakwent, and I always felt like I had to be careful around him. I tried to break up multiple times, but he'd get upset, grab me, chase me, and cry just to get me to stay.

 

The 5th time I attempted to break up with him, I was finally able to go through with it, but he was upset and didn't take it well. He'd bang on the door, ring the bell, and argue with my father. He went around the house and was able to open my window and tried to get in. By then we called the cops. And worse, his mother. I was very sad because I never wanted it to come to that.

 

But what's worse is that I wasn't scared when he was doing this all. I was so used to making excuses for him, putting up with his behaviour, that it didn't bother me.

 

 

Now here I sit, feeling just aweful because I honestly miss him, and yet I'm upset at him at the same time.

 

Am I the only one that misses someone who's abused me?

[Cognitive_Canine]

the ones that treat us the worst are the hardest ones to let go.

 

My first bf always put me on the backburner, even to his drugs and smoking. I did miss him, a lot, when we broke up. We went out for about 4 months, and even though I didn't love him, he gave me a lot of heartache.

 

Just stay NC and keep working on you. You'll meet someone who is better for you.

[bambina maxima]

I think it's pretty normal, even if he treated you poorly or was controlling. That can be a very hard cycle to break out of, so I'm glad that you were able to do it before it got really scary. He was a big part of your life; there is going to be a major adjustment period.

 

It's okay to miss him; it's okay to be upset. Just keep strong and don't act on those feelings. The best thing you can do is acknowledge the feelings but stay strong and keep him out of your life.

[ElasticMagnetic]

Thank you, both of you. You made me feel a little bit stonger! C:

[Cognitive_Canine]

i dont think that youe ex was someone who you should treat as someone who abused you, he did want to be with you when you were planning to go out wiht your friends because he wanted to be with you, he tried to get along with you eavh time you tried to break up because he lovedyou..not because he wanted to controll you...why are calling him as an abuser ? didnt he do all that bcz he love you ??

 

Well, being upset about not being included in friend plans is kind of controlling.

 

The thing that made him abusive was the fact that he threw things around and banged doors when they broke up. He also broke into her house through a window. He may not have been that abusive in this relationship, but he definitely has potential!