stayhappy Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 Hey Guys, I'm hoping to find out what people think about my situation and how important in general physical attraction is in a relationship compared to other factors. I met a guy online several months ago and we had been talking pretty regularly and getting on really well. Recently we started meeting up on various dates and I really enjoy the time I spend with him getting to know him. He's an honest and absolutely lovely guy who I know would be very committed in a relationship and a joy to be around, and is totally the sort of person I'm looking for on paper. We're both only into proper relationships and don't do one night stands so it's nice to be taking things really slowly, in that we haven't even kissed yet and we've been out about 5 or 6 times now. He's a really nice guy, very respectful, not into the scene at all really and I know that if a relationship did develop, we'd also probably be best friends too which I've not really had before in the true sense. I've only had a couple of relationships, one being very long term so I'm not that experienced in the evolutionary process of relationships or know how different relationships can start off in different ways. The problem for me, and it is pretty pathetic but there nevertheless, is that I'm not overly attracted to him. Don't get me wrong because the guy is good looking and I can see why other people think he is but he's not really the type I find attractive. Also because of this I haven't really been hit by that spark of attraction and don't get that whole butterflies in the stomach anticipation when wanting to see him. This worries me because I'm assuming that that should happen at the start of something but I'm trying to think outside my box and assume that this isn't always the case. Can people tell me whether the butterflies in your stomach feeling is always there at the start or whether sometimes things can develop later down the line. I'm also hoping that as one gets into a relationship that you can become physically attracted to someone over time by the closeness one shares and experiences with them. I know that with my ex I wasn't attracted to him at all initially but was incredibly attracted to him as the relationship went on. However I did though get all that anticipation when meeting him and even though I didn't fancy him initially, after about the second date something clicked into place for me. Maybe I'm comparing how I felt with my ex after 4 years with someone I've only met up with over 2 weeks and that's not a fair comparison. Ironically this new guy is "better looking" than any of my past relationships but I think I have a weird taste in guys!!! So what do people think? As I said in terms of personal qualities, he's perfect for me and everything that I think I want but I'm not 100% convinced I'm physically attracted. Is this a slow burner or a non burner? Thanks all I appreciate your thoughts and comments. Link to comment
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