Should I jump?

[grayfrenzy]

Been married 12 years. Have two kids and the past seven years have brought us job loss, move to and away from family, and my wife going off the deep end....she schemed after a few lies about our finances for five years and put us $25,000 in the hole.....slowly we've come out of that but she's bitter and quick to anger and every now and then does something else to make me question her trust. Sex is depending on her emotional roller coaster. She refuses drugs for the depressive states. Has what you call chronic fatigue syndrome. Today we found out our tax stimulus check went toward a $2,000 tax debt I didn't know we had. She hid the mail for several days so I wouldn't see it, which is what made me more mad than anything. She checks in and out of her job so much ....kids rarely get a full meal, she'll go flop in the bed while I'm working nights and they may or may not get fed unless they feed themselves. I am so tired and think that nearing 50 I can do better than this....life shouldn't suck. But I want my kids to be well. I can't get custody with my work hours and if I let them go with her they'll move out of state. I could I guess pursue something else and then get the happiness I know is out there with a twinge of normalcy and then wait for the kids to have their fill and ask to come back...maybe. Otherwise I don't want to be apart from them but she is driving me bat@@@@.

[Stars_n_Guitars]

SHE NEEDS HELP. YOU DON'T NEED TO JUMP! Talk to her about this, see if she's willing to go to see a counselor about the marital/financial issues. I'm sure she's feeling some guilt because she's having to hide this debt from you. I hope everything works out for you!

[Jeen]

Hi

Welcome to ENA. I see you have find your way to post a thread.

 

It is hard to live with someone suffering from depression. There are a few good websites you can visit to find more information on depression and how to help her with the depression. You should not beat yourself up for the feelings you have at this stage, it is always sad when there are children involved and it is a area I'm really not at ease in giving a answer or like commenting on but it is something you will have to consider in every decision you do make.

 

I hope it all get sorted at the end. Sometimes we have to take baby steps, to change the future

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Has your wife ever been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder? Recklessness with money is very characteristic of behaviour during the "manic" phases of the disorder. Then there are the extreme depressive moods. Bipolar can be treated with medication but I would suggest that she really needs to get assessed by a qualified professional. She could also simply be depressed because of life circumstances. At any rate, she does need to get some