ole21 Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 So i'm 18 and have been seeing this wonderful girl for a few months. We have become very close and last night was the closest we've ever come to having sex (both down to underwear and playing with eachother). She even asked if I had a condom, but I told her we just shouldn't tonight (cuz I could tell she was pretty nervous). She's a virgin and really doesn't have much experience at all with guys and I'm not. Also I'm not an * * * * * * * and if we decide to have sex I want to make sure she doesn't regret it and that it's as good as possible for her. I'm going to talk to her about it some before we decide to have sex and I just want her to be able to relax and be really comfortable with me. So what advice do you have for how I should deal with the situation and how can I make the first time be as pleasant as possible for her? Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 let her be on top so she can guide you in. that's SO important. and 2, be as gentle as you possibly can, let her take control as much as possible. Link to comment
daphne_girl Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 It sounds like you are doing everything right so far. Waiting until she is ready is so important. It's awesome that you are thinking about her feelings. When the time is right, it will happen and probably be fantastic! Link to comment
Mindy1607307824 Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 let her be on top so she can guide you in. that's SO important. I disagree. I think you should go on top. It's more romantic & it hurts less. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 I disagree. I think you should go on top. It's more romantic & it hurts less. wow. i didn't know missionary was romantic compared to other positions. can you elaborate as to why mindy? i'm not trying to knock your post, just curious as to your reasoning. Link to comment
Mindy1607307824 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Because when he's on you and you're smaller than him and you're losing it to him you feel so fragile and protected and he's kissing you and then the kiss becomes a hug and he's in you and it's just... *sighs* Link to comment
hers Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 I agree--don't let her be on top. That woudl hurt for her first time. She'll be much more relaxed on bottom the first time I think. I think it's great htat you told her no--I hope she didn't take it personally (like "oh he doesn't want to have sex with me!--some girls are weird like that), but I think it shows true respect if you said that to her and meant it. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Because when he's on you and you're smaller than him and you're losing it to him you feel so fragile and protected and he's kissing you and then the kiss becomes a hug and he's in you and it's just... *sighs* for some people i guess. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 I agree--don't let her be on top. That woudl hurt for her first time. She'll be much more relaxed on bottom the first time I think. I think it's great htat you told her no--I hope she didn't take it personally (like "oh he doesn't want to have sex with me!--some girls are weird like that), but I think it shows true respect if you said that to her and meant it. :S how do you feel more relaxed when a guy is poking you with his hard stick? it hurts. most of the guys don't know anything, they just push it in and hope it gets in. hurts sooo much more than you being able to guide it. like, i know for me the angle that it goes in is super super important. but i guess everyone is different. Link to comment
livinginsbi Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 I agree with having the guy on top the first time. Maybe more of an experience issue... it takes some time to get the timing down when the girl is on top - maybe not the best thing for a first timer... The whole feeling of 'guy in control' very hot for me. Link to comment
hers Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 :S how do you feel more relaxed when a guy is poking you with his hard stick? it hurts. most of the guys don't know anything, they just push it in and hope it gets in. hurts sooo much more than you being able to guide it. like, i know for me the angle that it goes in is super super important. but to each their own :S Well, if you communicate with the guy before you have sex, even at the moment it's happening, then it won't hurt. When I lost my virginity, I was using words like "slowly" and "stop for a sec" and "wait". And it was very minimal pain. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Well, if you communicate with the guy before you have sex, even at the moment it's happening, then it won't hurt. When I lost my virginity, I was using words like "slowly" and "stop for a sec" and "wait". And it was very minimal pain. oh there was plenty of communication. he did go slow, he did wait but whenever he did try to put it in, he just didn't know the directions as well as i do. but yaaa.. i guess everyone is different. Link to comment
hers Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 oh there was plenty of communication. he did go slow, he did wait but whenever he did try to put it in, he just didn't know the directions as well as i do. but yaaa.. i guess everyone is different. I can understand what you're saying. I just know that if I tried sitting on it, I woudln't have been able to make the pain as minimal as it was when I lost it with the guy on top. Knowing me, I woudl've lost my balance and landed on it hard! Of course, I lost my virginity 11 years ago so I'm rusty on the memories, but I remember him going very slowly at my request and it not hurting much. Link to comment
kyriel Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Its a mind thing. Before I lost it, I was sure I wanted him to be on top. I had heard the whole "be on top so you're more in control" thing, but I thought it would be too exposing and I didn't like the pressure of being in charge. Ironically, when I did lose it, I was in fact on top. (It was more spontaneous than I expected my first time to be.) After the fact, I can definitely say I was happy with the positional choice. It hurt, but being in control of the speed and depth really gave me more confidence than I would have had if he had been on top. Plus, I probably would have been less relaxed (which I KNOW would have hurt like hell). If the comfort level between the two of you is so amazingly high that she can fully relax and put you in control, I still say you being on top can work just fine. No matter what position you choose, the most important thing is communication and contact. If your both relaxed and listening to each other, it should be a pleasant experience. Good Luck to ya both Link to comment
livinginsbi Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 what about switching it up? On top for awhile, on the bottom for awhile.. the best of both worlds! Link to comment
Lamprey Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Grab her shoulders for leverage and really slam it in. She'll never forget you. ... Just kidding, be gentle Link to comment
Portage Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 On top and protective, the guy needs to take the lead when it is the girls first time. Slow, gentle, and a lot of communication. Link to comment
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