Shesmyeverything Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 I don't usually post on forums, but feel like I need to vent my feelings to someone who will listen. I am 39yo and have been with my wife for 17 years and married for 11. We have 4 beautiful children together ages 15, 8, 5 and 11 months. We have a nice home and make a decent living, but as alot of people, have times when we struggle and always seem to make it work. The first 5 years of marriage where almost to good to be true. We always spent time together and where very close in all ways. As time has gone on things have gotten alot different, with the last year being the worst by far. My wife is a very busy person and has alot of responsibilty in her job (RN intensive care) and works varied hours, so I am very understanding of her sleep needs. I get up everyday and get our kids up, dressed, give them breakfast and off to school. I get up at night with our baby when he wakes and take care of his needs and deal with any of the children should they wake at night when they are sick. I also do most (90%) of the cooking, housework, laundry, bills and finances. Now, I tell you this because I am not the type of guy who thinks it is a woman job to stay home and not have her own identity and I am more than willing to do my share of the work, but not all of it. My wife never seems to have any time for me or want to make time, but has no problem making time for friends. When it come to intimacy, she is very distant and most times will not even touch me during lovemaking. I mean, I have to do everything from foreplay to finish with no touching from her. Communication is another issue, as everytime I time to tell her my feelings, she says I am complaining and expect to much from her. I tell her if there is something bothering her, then we can discuss it and work through it together, as I want to help, but she says nothing is wrong. I do not know what to do, I miss my best friend and want her back. I am not tooting my own horn, but I consider myself a better then average husband and family man and feel that my needs are important also. I believe that a marriage is work and we need to work at it to keep the spark alive. I am always either at work (50 hrs/wk) or at home, so I am not out getting into trouble and being a bad husband. I just wish my wife would tell me she misses me, ask to make love, ask to spend time or something to let me know she needs me in her life, but she never does. I am left feeling very sad, depressed and emotionally hurt. Sorry if I am rambling, but I am having a hard time getting this out. Thank you in advance for any responses and for caring enough to read my post. Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.