My Dreams

[mikeyc]

If you've read my other posts, you will realise that I was dumped by my girlfriend of 2 and a half years on the 19th January this year. 12 days later she was with someone else. She broke my heart. I'm in week 4 and because of my family, friends and eNotAlone.com, things were getting easier. However, I still do not sleep or eat well. When I do sleep, my dreams are mostly about her...

At first, when the pain was greatest, I used to dream that we were together and happy, they were nice dreams. When I woke, for a few seconds I remained happy, I turned my head to kiss my girl just as I did almost every morning we were together and it hits me! I will never see her there again - at least I had a few seconds of happiness. These dreams stopped a few days ago, last night it was different. I dreamt about seeing her with him. I can't go into detail, I'm at work and don't want to get too upset, but I woke up in a panic and in tears. Now I've started thinking about her again. Just as I thought the pain was subsiding I get knocked right back to the bottom rung again. I don't want to dream about her, I don't want to think about her - all I want is for her to get out of my head and let me get on with my life! How long will these dreams last? How long will the pain last? I have a life to get on with!!

[SwingFox]

Hi Mikey,

 

I am glad to hear that we are a little of help for you. Of course I will try to do my utmost to stay supportive and continue to give you my points of view and advice where I can.

 

After breaking up in a relation that last for a little longer, you will have ups and downs in life for a while. The first few weeks are the hardest. It looks like that you are somewhat getting into easier water. Just of recent you have some setback. This is a natural part of the healing process.

 

I understand that you feel hurt and that you are deeply in pain right now. My suggestion is, accept the pain as part of the healing process. Don't struggle nor fight it, because that only will take you longer to heal. Mikey, it is perfectly okay to cry if you want to. Should you feel uncomfortable crying in public (very understandable), separate yourself from the world and cry out loud. I promise you that it will help you.

 

My last advice is to talk to your friends about this, if possible for you. That also will benefit you.

 

I hope this was of help for you again and wish you good luck in this healing process.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[mikeyc]

Thanks Swing. Both you and Mermayd and everyone else on eNotalone are great. I have my friends to help me at weekends and you to help me during the week. I had some great news today, my brother is currently travelling the world just as I did a few years back, when he heard about my troubles he cut short his trip by a few weeks and he returns tomorrow. I get on very well with him and he's only a year younger than me so looks like I'll have someone else to talk to during the week.

I took some advice from a reply to one of my earlier posts and made plans for as many weekends as possible, it's been very expensive but I always have something to look forward to. I'm off to Amsterdam with my friends this weekend for 5 days which should ease the pain a lot. I've found that spending as much time as possible with my friends and discussing how I feel helps a lot! I've also learnt that my two best friends have both had similar experiences and they both remember it like it happened yesterday, they went through exactly what I am going through now.

My worst fear --> I only hope that I don't run into my ex... She lives in the next town and I often drive past where she works. The worst thing I can imagine is seeing her walking with him holding hands, or worse. I never want to see her again but as we both live in the same area it's probably going to happen at some point, what should I do if I see her? Ignore her? Talk to her? I'm not a rude person but I have told her that I never want to see her or her friends again.

[starblubber]

Dude, I totally know what your going through.

I'm having the same kind of dreams. Me and my ex have only been broke up for 8 days now but these dreams are what's killing me inside.

I want them to go away allready!!! I go to bed at night time and I feel like I'm in better spirits and things are getting better but then I wake up and the dreams knock the wind out of me and kick me right back down to the curb again and then it takes hours to shake that feeling off caused from the dreams. It's such a bad cycle.

[eterna2]

well, dun have to worry so much, just enjoy urself and things will take care of themselves if they happen.

 

just react what u wish to react (other than obviously illegal reactions). Say hi if u feel like it, if not, just walk pass her. Dun waste so much effort on things tat aren't so important. Why trouble yourself? U may not even chance upon her in the first place. Even if u did, how u react, will change nothing, only cause more hurt to urself if u think so much.

 

just let it be. there is nothing to be gained or lost, even if you meet her. smile, and just take things ez, time will heal all. it did for me. slowly, but verily, the pain will fade into a dull throb, then eventually into a scar, a memory, nothing more.

 

dun ponder too much over what u shld do. just relaz, and let things be.

[michaelc20021607306449]

I been having similar problems too. I got dump by this girl which I felt was my soulmate. Anyway It was like b4 valentines day. The problem I get is I have dreams about her too. I get reminded of her also when i used certain word that she used to say. It the first time that it been this bad before I alway had no problem with forgetting about the girl. This time seem total different. Its been only a week but it feel like every days a struggle and I have to really work at it.

 

Dream havent stop and I think it part of the process of letting go. I did feel better when I visualise myself meeting someone who is even more special or that the love I lost can be found again. I felt trapped in the past and I think that true for you. I just want to forget about her and move on with my life too. The pain is quite bad. I ask myself why me? where did my hapiness go? Some part of me doesnt want to let go. The other part need to move on.

 

I have thought of her with someone else. This is not good for my mind either. I think that reminding yourself that you can find so one else too is great for feeling better. I didnt want anyone else after her, but now I can see that maybe I feel different in 3 months.

 

Try resolve your feeling by letting go slowy and remind yourself that in the future the love of a good women will come along. Well that what I think anyway.

 

Hope this helps.