I don't know what i am doing (long story)

[jacksmith]

So here is my story for you .. Help me if you can..

 

Sometimes early last year, my gf of 6 years broke up with me. The reasons were long distance and other pressures like career etc etc. Reasonable or not, I reacted to it with most unreasonable way its possible. Cried, begged, you name it. I didn't do any harm to her though. She told me she will think about it in future but now nothing. I continued to support her in everything, guided her in her troubles and tried to keep relationship talks as less as possible but in my worse moments i did talk about it and she didn't feel good about and asked me if I want to stop talking. I failed to gather courage to do so.

 

Fast forward to late last year, i felt i have done enough and sent her a mail saying we are not going to speak ever in life. She reacted to it and convinced me to stay. She said she will take a decision in few months. I was fine with it, didn't keep my hopes and convinced myself that its not going to happen. We kept talking everyday though, it didn't bother me that much.

 

Again fast forward and in a dramatic chain of events, she landed up in the same place as me. I helped her in it not to have her but solely to help her. She being completely new to the place, i helped her setting up everything. She came to my place, we talked about lot of things very little about relationship. She said she has no one else in her life but she cant take the step of relationship as of yet. It was ok. I was not expecting better.

 

After few months, i felt that there is some feelings developing between her and me and i made a very informal proposal which she denied ofcourse. (otherwise i wudnt have been here It was fine too. A day after that i found from some source that she has been seeing some guy since last year. It was devastating.

 

I didn't confront her or anything and I am acting as if i don't know. She doesn't want me or anyone to know about it. The feeling now is not rejection but betrayal. She knew i will move out as soon as i know about her new found love and she needed me for mental support as well getting ahead in her life in which she was stuck.

 

I don't want to confront her with the facts simply because I will feel worse after this. Yet, I can't do NC because of proximity. I honestly don't know what to do. No matter what, it is not possible for me to hate her. Suddenly all pain seems to have been back. I am dealing with it as much as i can.. I am not taking it to her for sure but its hitting me back definitely.

 

 

Any help ?

[big greg]

Get out. There is no future for you with this woman, and the fact that you can't get over her and she doesn't want you like you want her means things won't ever change. It's hard to make out from your wording if you two are actually living together or if you are just living close to each other, but if it's the former, the best thing would be to either make her move out or do so yourself. You need to get away from her so you can clear your mind.

[jacksmith]

No we are not living together.

[wtm78]

the only who can really help you is you...

there is a couple of things here that doesnt matter...

1. the length of r/s

2. the reason for breakup

3. what happen before and after the breakup

4. how terrible you feel..

 

it is time for you to pick up from where you left and piece yourself together...

[jacksmith]

I know. I have picked up myself before. I had given up everything till it came back and teased me again. I feel horrible.

[orangesoda]

it's been repeated over and over again: at least 50% of the time (or more) when they say there's nobody else/they don't want to see anyone else - they're seeing someone else.

 

that's also why people will say taking a break = breakup. and breakup means going NC and moving on with your life. if they come back, fine. if not, then fine.

 

but it's worse if you hang around trying to be in their life half-assed. it only makes the final breakup/truth coming out that much more traumatic.

 

as for what to do now:

 

you should leave her life immediately. personally i would confront her on the issue of the other guy. i would definitely make my feelings of betrayal known. then i would tell her to leave my life permanently.

 

you shouldn't have to endure this kind of pain for her advancement. she's using you like a chump and you don't deserve that.

 

find someone who's deserving of your attention.

[Leezon]

i have to agree with orangesoda, she is using you big time buddy. She only came to you when she needed something and while she was doing this (knowing full well you love her) she has been seeing someone else behind your back.

 

It sounds like she's two-faced mate. Completely ignore her, i know its hard but you have to so you can stop feeling so bad. Even if she lives close to you, there is still no excuse not to go NC.. its easy when you actually want to do it

[jacksmith]

I hate being used.