need to vent about a crush i have on my supervisor

[aaranhalt]

I am a 20 year old account rep at a credit union. Its a very nice job for a seasonal employee- it has great pay and its a grownup job that looks good on any resume. I was trained over a school break by a HR guy because the usual trainer was out. He is 5 years older than me and I have a HUGE crush on him. Hes very nice and mature but can be quite silly sometimes. I did feel in the beginning he was a bit nicer to me because my brother use to work there and he liked him alot and also my aunt is one of the managers. However, Ive expressed this (or that my managers in general do this) and Ive been told thats not the reason why they are nice to me.

My first day on the floor he sent me an email saying he hoped iIliked it and when I go back to school to have a nice semester and he put a smiley face at the end. I wanted to email him back saying "you're so beautiful, lets get married." Hes single and one time when we were talking about another employee who is a bit younger than him and was going to be a father he said "I am so far away from that" and he lives with his brother.

 

 

When I came back to work full time a month ago, he was promoted and he is now one of my bosses. At first he was not so friendly, prob. because he is a new boss and is no longer Mr.-HR-Guy-Who-Is-Nice-To-Keep-Employees-From-Quitting. The job is really stressful, I want to come home and rip out my hair most days and I feel stupid and overwhelmed all the time.

However, my crush has only grown and I think about him all the freakin time. Usually my little crushes like this are gone by now. And Im usually not even working at his branch now too. Its annoying and I am always looking forward to the day I work at his branch even though it is my least favorite branch to work at. Im worried, actually terrified he'll figure it out (I get flustered around him alot but the job is stressful for newbies so he might not even notice) Another employee there my age likes me and is so obvious about it, Im sure he would never guess I secretly love him! Im trying hard to not act different around him than I do with everyone else and Im very friendly to everybody.

This is sucking for me alot because Im being extra hard on myself because I don’t want to look stupid in front of him. And did I mention I already feel stupid all the time anyway? ](*,)

 

Today I was at his branch and I haven’t been there for a week- he gave me a lot of work and smiled and when I asked him why I got all of the work he said because you’re my favorite. I said I wasn’t and that he had just forgotten what I looked like. He also poked fun of me a bit and said “I just like to pick on you” I know he doesnt like me, the point is not wondering at that, but I wish he would not be mr. great boss and mr. im a great person so maybe my crush could fade. I want so badly not to like him! Its distracting. And just so we're clear, I know its a stupid crush and its all just fantasy so dont lecture me on that. I would never act on it. Has this ever happened to anyone?

[Blackhawk2009]

if its only a seasonal job why can't u act on it lol