it's over is finally starting to sink in?

[deang]

Having a rough night tonight for some reason...it's been almost 4 weeks since I saw her and a few days since the last terrible email exchange. Other than that I haven't contacted her since the weekend she dumped me. I've tried to convince myself we could get back together with the spark we had and how we just seemed to click but it seems like I was just a rebound for 2 and half wonderful and intense months. It was an illusion and if she was never really that into me then what is there for her to go back to? I still love her but the more I think about it the harder it would be to rekindle a spark that wasn't really there in the first place. It seemed so freaking real. Even though I will be more confident and be in great shape in a couple of months I still think that what I thought was chemistry was just desperation for love on her part. Even though I was a rebound is there still the attraction to build on? I'm feeling weak right now...part of me wants reassurance that I can make the spark happen again but right now I keep thinking that it's hopeless and while it may be time to get over her completely it feels like the wound is reopening some and I am having a bad evening.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

A month post-breakup really isn't a long time so it is understandable that you are still hurting. Sometimes a short and intense relationship is hard to get over because you are still in the 'honeymoon' fantasy phase in the beginning, and reality hasn't settled in. She was 'perfect' in your eyes because you didn't know her that well.

 

So recognize that one can have a really intense initial attraction that just doesn't go the distance. If she was rebounding, it wasn't really fair to you to suck you up into an exciting whirlwind then dump you, but that is what happens with rebounds.

 

Just recognize that you can have that exciting feeling with someone else, someone who is ready for a real and solid relationship to begin, not just a temporary distraction. Give yourself a bit of time and recognize that 2.5 months is not long enough to really know her, in fact the quick dumping is a sign that she isn't all that stable, to get involved in a whirlwind then jump back out again.

[deang]

thanks bestrongbehappy...she isn't stable and I started to put the pieces together just before the breakup that she had some demons. She hit my 2 big triggers she was physically my type and she had a similar sense of humor ...it was like talking to my best friend. Now that I get farther away there was always something missing...I feel like when you play a slot machine and the 3rd jackpot symbol comes halfway down and you feel like you almost won the big one but in reality you were never closer than if nothing at all came up.