athiel Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Hello there! Having been engaged to my fiance for almost two years (we're doing the deed as soon as funds make themselves available!), I've become more and more concerned that whilst every other part of our relationship is fantastic, our sex life has become been going downhill for the past year or so... When we first got together we had the usual highly charged constant bed rocking, and for the first time in a long term relationship for me, and first time ever for her, engaged in lots of bondage and kinky sex. She was excited and happy to do anything and everything, and it was great. I can't pinpoint moments, and there's never been any "triggers" but aspects of our sex life seem to have disappeared, and her preferences have changed in some key areas. On the kinky sex note I guess as the dominant in the couple it's really up to me to reintroduce that kind of play but there are other areas I miss too. She no longer lets me stimulate her with my fingers inside her - something we both enjoyed when we got together (and I've been complimented on my skills with by herself and previous partners). She's also stopped going down on me almost entirely. I've always had a bit of a penchant for partners swallowing my semen, and the odd facial - this is something she's stopped doing almost entirely - and she acts as if my semen is thoroughly disgusting on the odd occasion she does get any in her mouth or on her. I can't help but feel incredibly emasculated by what seems like a rejection of such a personally important part of my sexuality. I've tried talking both these things with her, but she can't seem to understand how much it depresses me - I feel inhibited to do anything but straight penetration and even then can't help but miss the varied experience our sex life used to be. I've spoken to numerous female friends about their own feelings about the semen swallowing/contact situation in particular and even those who don't love it see it as a momentary act which is worth doing for the pleasure it gives their partners, whether casual or long term. Although my partner quickly gets aroused when we do have sex, and the penetrative stuff is fantastic (she enjoys it very much too), it seems a shadow of what we once had. She used to respond so well to being dominated when our sex life swung that way I've been wondering if I should just start trying to introduce that dynamic back in to the bedroom? I love my partner very much, and we have a very physically affectionate, intimate open and honest relationship, and she's the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Everything I've said here has been said to her too - I'd just like some broader feedback. Thanks for your time! Any suggestions or comments would be welcome. Link to comment
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