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im not sure what to do


Spynbelly
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Well i've been friends with this girl for about 4 years now. When i first met her in school i had a big crush on her. She would always talk to me and invite me to do stuff. So one time i decided to go with her to a local concert to meet her friends. When we got there she ran up to her friend shane and started kissing him, apprantly they were together and i just didnt know, i was crushed. Now 4 years later we're still friends. About in august both of us went through breakups. Lately we have been talking to each other online about the past relationships and how were alone now. We can talk about almost anything to each other. I've been to her house a couple times the last couple of weeks and we would just lose track of time and not even realize it was 4 in the morning. Anytime we hang out we seem to have a great time together. I think i'm falling in love with her but i dont know what to do. I'd like to have a realtionship with her but i dont want to jeopordize our friendship if its not what she wants. I fear if she doesnt feel the same that i wont be the same around her anymore and the friendship will be ruined. There hasnt really been any signs that she has feelings for me. We had talked before about how it sucks that were single now cause we dont have anyone to cuddle with anymore. The other night at her house when we were sitting on the couch she laid her head on my shoulder. Im not sure if that meant anything or not. The only reason a realtionship might not be good with her is she is leaving in the summer to go to hawaii for 5 months. After she gets home from that she'll go to school here for a little bit then school in indiana. I'd really like to have a realtionship but even if we start one im not sure if we could keep it through all of that. She seems perfect to me and we seem to get along so good, what should i do?

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I'd talk to her about it casually - if you're really good friends, and there's no pressure, she should be ok with it. Just ask her casually sometime when you're talking if she'd consider going out sometime - or if she'd rather just keep it as good friends you're cool with that as well. If you can talk to her as easily as you say and don't make it a "go out or friends" thing, but "hey, I was wondering... but it's cool either way, because I really enjoy you as a friend and I'd hate to lose that," it leaves it up to her to consider it. She may well be unsure about a relationship per se if she knows she's going to be leaving, just as you are - just make sure she knows her friendship is the most important thing to you to keep it cool.

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