What happens in that planet ye are living on(For the men)

[Buttercup21]

I think this a question for the boys!

 

I know there are alot girls will agree that sometimes it feels like its a mans world. I have loads of girlfriends in relationships and everytime like me, when they break up its like the end of the world for the girl, its usually the girls who spend weeks and weeks in bed crying, its usually the girl who cant sleep or eat! Im not speaking for every girl but those girls who dont relate to this ------ YOU ROCK!!!!!

My friend just broke up with her boyfriend and even though it was coming to them for some time and she knew that she could of finished it first like most girls she holded on for one last hope that their relationship would survive!! IM LIKE THIS GIRL! He dumped her in the end..and she could of done it first but instead she is the dumpee!! Like the majority of my friends! she cant eat sleep she wants to meet up with him and called him to arrange it etc. I totally would of done the same as her but as this is not my relationship i see all the mistakes she making! Im sick of men ruling relationships! If she didnt contact him and pretended she didnt care that would be better medicine for him! WHy are men so tough and so cool about things??? The men we date hide their feelings from their friends, keep it all bottled up, i dont want to do all the running and dont want my friends to do it anymore!

 

 

I would love to get inside a mans head and just figure it all out! Men are from a different planet..SO men tell us a little bit about that planet your living on..maybe we would have more power in relationships then!!!

[james_sx11]

Read some more posts here... i'd say girls have it easier - they let it out, they talk to their friends about it. Men don't really do that. When a guy is on the receiving end it gets messy – booze, violence, bottled up anger… I’ve seen it all!

[Anachronism]

Men have it easier in some ways, but once women are through the grieving process, if there is one, it is far easier on them.

[DJC]

well for most guys its kind of like an unwritten rule in society not to show emotion as much. I do show my emotions when I want to but without them it is like taking off our armor and leaves us vulnerable, and trust me men don't like to feel vulnerable

 

If you want a guy to show emotion just do NC, in time he will show his true colours-whether it be guilt, anger or just breaking down like a little blubbery girl (no offense ).

[bepositive]

Agreed with what's been said so far; my shrink said that women have a much better support network of friends to help them get through things, and men are expected to withold emotions. Fortunately for me, I've got some good female friends. It just feels weird to talk to any male friends about the whole thing. And, in private, I've gone through the whole crying, taking sick days, unmotivated, etc. But then again, I can be the sentimental type. Fortunately, I'm on the long road of bouncing back.

 

My ex, on the other hand, got hooked up with a guy clear accross the country, and was more willing to see where it went with him after knowing him for a couple of months, rather than preserve our two years through thick and thin. (Our breakup was a complicated sort of thing.) I've been dating other women, but just don't feel a connection to them or any serious interest, despite them being attractive and successful in their own, different ways.

[riley123]

I agree that women -- in general -- are able to cope with losing a husband or boyfriend in a healthier manner because of the support network that's usually built in.

 

Men -- for the most part -- are much more internalized and tend to bottle emotions up -- only to see them spill out at inopportune moments. I think that's why you hear more stories about men freaking out by begging and pleading to get their ex back.

 

I also think that when a relationship is over and done with for a woman than that’s it. They are much less likely to want to reconcile.

 

But these are just my opinions based on what I’ve seen and what I’ve experienced personally.

[james_sx11]

I also think that when a relationship is over and done with for a woman than that’s it. They are much less likely to want to reconcile.

 

If they dumped you cause they wernt feeling it no more, then sadly, i agree...

It's going to take a lot of work and games to get them back. Any sign of weakness or your chasing them and they'll be off. Maybe after a large amount of time (like years) pass you can have another shot.

[Lamprey]

Anthropological answer: women are expected to be the chaste and stable one, so when a woman's been dumped, there's more of a stigma attached. Women are the ones who want security more while men tend to want variety, which is why being single has good connotations for a man (he can date again, yay!) and bad ones for a woman (she has to date again, boo). Another reason, though this is less & less relevant, is that a man is traditionally the breadwinner doing paid work outside the home while a woman is the one doing unpaid work at home; in such circumstances, she ends up depending on the man economically as well as emotionally.

 

Not for the biological answer: women can produce a limited amount of offspring due to their egg production drying up at some point and due to them being able to only carry one pregnancy to term at a time. A man, on the other hand, can impregnate as many females as he can gain access to. thereforeee, in humans (and most, though not all species) females are the limiting resource in reproduction. This is the biological reason for why men compete over women - and incidentally, part of the reason why men cheat. This is off topic, but for those interested, look up the Coolidge effect.

 

When pregnant, a woman is largely helpless and needs to be cared for, especially during the last few months of pregnancy. A man will care for her because he's interested in his offspring surviving so that his genes survive in it. However, being able to impregnate another should something not work out leaves him with options a women, who is "stuck" with her pregnancy, doesn't have.

 

For all the reasons above, women are more choosy in picking their mate and once they make the choice, they invest a lot more emotion in him. Ever hear people say that men fall in love faster, but women fall harder? That's it in a nutshell. So it's natural that when the relationship ends, she has a harder time getting over it.

 

Naturally, societal mores and biology can't explain every facet of a relationship, but they do help.

[IMAbadman]

I think women deal with break-ups better then men. Two reasons, first they have a better support network. Secondly, they are able to express their emotions.

 

Men are bottled up and don't share emotions.

 

Regardless they both hurt for the break-up.

[memorypill]

I really dont agree with you. I think its just hard for the person being dumped unless they felt it was something needed.

I agree with everyone saying that women have more of a support staff and are able to show emotions to people. Personally as a guy i just got dumped a few weeks ago ive been pretty much only venting on ENA because these are strangers (who are really nice) but i'll never meet any of these people i havent even been able to talk to my friends because im afraid of breaking down. It hurts and im trying to get over it but i dont feel like i can really talk to anyone because im supposed to be stronger than this and i hate that i cant be.

So yea its juast as hard if not harder for guys.

[SpeedingCars]

It's hard to believe men bottle up emotions... to me, it just feels like they don't have any. That's just in regards to my guy. He is SO cold sometimes, it makes me wonder if he's capable of loving.

 

But I think women are more "allowed" to show emotion in society. If men do it, they're categorized as weak (obviously).

 

It sucks, but... eh!

I know how your friend feels, holding out to give it ONE LAST SHOT... only to have HIM dump you!

[DJC]

lol we do have emotions. Its just whether we trust you enough to not change the way you look at us. I showed emotions to my ex one time when she accused me of something and I was massively hurt and she kept bringing it up over the next few weeks, saying that she has never seen a guy show such emotion. I took it as a compliment but also an insult to be honest, because she saw that I had emotions and I could get hurt so I think she felt the need to calm down what she said/did in case it hurt me. Don't get me wrong, its was a considerate thing she did-making sure she didn't hurt me again, but it just felt that she thought I was emotionally weaker than her and I really did not like that.

Men are supposed to be the foundation, we are supposed to hold you up-so if we show emotion its a big thing but dont make a big thing out of it, or else we wont again.

[5364]

Thats nonsense. Girls deal with break ups better than men. If the relationship was a good one, both of em should be hurt from the break up.

 

Jeez, I was a wreck when my ex broke up with me. Regardless of what you hear, men do have feelings too. Our first instinct is to let everything out and tell you how we feel. We don't like bottling up feelings for somebody. At least, I don't.

[SpeedingCars]

No wonder....

 

Man, my guy NEVER shows emotion. He covers up with this cool shell & I could tell him the meanest things possible or things that would USUALLY strike a sympathetic chord in SOMEBODY and he won't budge!

 

I've always heard that it's just a "guy thing" to act as if you don't care... but that becomes a bit much.

 

I don't know what I have to do to make him show his feelings more, or to communicate. I know talking about it with him is seen as "nagging", no matter how pleasant I am about it! Geez...

[DJC]

No wonder....

 

Man, my guy NEVER shows emotion. He covers up with this cool shell & I could tell him the meanest things possible or things that would USUALLY strike a sympathetic chord in SOMEBODY and he won't budge!

 

I've always heard that it's just a "guy thing" to act as if you don't care... but that becomes a bit much.

 

I don't know what I have to do to make him show his feelings more, or to communicate. I know talking about it with him is seen as "nagging", no matter how pleasant I am about it! Geez...

 

 

Tell him he has a small penis

 

 

 

lol joking. I guess there isn't really anything you can do to be honest. Its more of him getting over his self-conscious issues or misguided views of how a man is supposed to act.

[doyathink]

Tell him he has a small penis

 

 

That would surely get a reaction out of him. lol Probably not a good one, and I'd hate to think what he'd counter it with.

[IMAbadman]

No wonder....

 

Man, my guy NEVER shows emotion. He covers up with this cool shell & I could tell him the meanest things possible or things that would USUALLY strike a sympathetic chord in SOMEBODY and he won't budge!

 

I've always heard that it's just a "guy thing" to act as if you don't care... but that becomes a bit much.

 

I don't know what I have to do to make him show his feelings more, or to communicate. I know talking about it with him is seen as "nagging", no matter how pleasant I am about it! Geez...

 

 

You could always kick him in the ding-ding.

[doyathink]

you Could Always Kick Him In The Ding-ding.

 

Lol..........