"Better as a Memory" Plz explain this song

[happyblueyes]

Does anyone here feel this way about someone? Do you feel like you can't help sabotaging relationships, so better to avoid them? Do you sabotage on purpose, and could you guess why? I'm curious because I have an old friend who seems to think he's better as my memory now, than even just a friend... I want to understand, somehow assure him if possible, have any hope?

 

Kenny Chesney:

 

...move on like a sinners prayer

let 'em go like a levee breaks

walk away as if i don't care

learn to shoulder my mistakes

i'm built to fade like your favorite song

get reckless when there's no need

laugh as your stories ramble on

break my heart but it won't bleed

my only friends are pirates, it's just who i am

i'm better as a memory than as your man.

 

i'm never sure when the truth won't do

i'm pretty good on a lonely night

i move on the way a storm blows through

i never stay, but then again, i might

i struggle sometimes to find the words

always sure until i doubt

walk a line until it blurs

build walls too high to climb out

but i'm honest to a fault, it's just who i am

i'm better as a memory than as your man

 

I see you leanin', you're bound to fall

I don't wanna be that mistake

i'm just a dreamer, nothing more

you should know it before it gets too late

 

cause goodbyes are like a roulette wheel

you never know where they're gonna land

first you're spinning, then you're standing still

left holding a losin' hand

one day you're gonna find someone

right away, you'll know it's true

that all of your seeking is done

Its just a part of the passing through

right there in that moment

you'll finally understand

that i was better as a memory than as your man

better as a memory than as your man

better as a memory than as your man

[Nixee]

Well... it is hard to say about your situation in particular... but the gist of that song, to me, is denial.

 

It is someone saying they are no good... that they will only cause pain.... yet there's a line "i never stay, but then again, i might" cluing you in to actual wishy-washy feelings. Denial. Confusion. They are basically saying "I don't have the strength to give you up... so you should probably give me up and walk away from me... I'm no good..."

 

....

 

I know this tune well. Well... not this actual song, as I don't really listen to country hehe.... but the story. My ex used to go through periods like this. He would get down on himself and say he was "just no good for anyone" "destined to be alone" "better off single" that I should "just forget about him" blah blah blah. I would comfort him, reassure him.... and we were together for years.

 

Of course, we did break up.... we aren't together. But he was still wrong about the being single bit.... he is marrying someone else later this year.

 

Sometimes relationship sabotage is just about self-esteem and fear. You can reassure someone... and it can help... but they also have to work through their issues on their own as well.

[happyblueyes]

Argh - but thanks. I think I'm slowly getting over this/him.