Is this the definition of Women playing dating games?

[ConfusedDater]

These Two girls I met and the first date went well but it seems that they want me to do all the chasing

 

Both of them only call or email me when I call or email them first. Never on their own only responding to me.

 

Both have agreed to see me again but only contact me unless I contact them.

 

 

Does this sound Familiar to any other guy?

[SupaflyTNT]

These Two girls I met and the first date went well but it seems that they want me to do all the chasing

 

Both of them only call or email me when I call or email them first. Never on their own only responding to me.

 

Both have agreed to see me again but only contact me unless I contact them.

 

 

Does this sound Familiar to any other guy?

 

Do you like them and have you set up a second date with either of them? If they continue to agree to dates and keep seeing you then I don't see much of a problem with it. Now, if they become flaky and start cancelling dates or not returning calls then that is another issue. Also, you should be alright initiating most of the contact for the first few dates.

[lana111]

not a guy but...

 

so early on i really would expect the guy to puruse the first few dates.

 

not sure what it is, but when dating a guy early on i sorta let the ball be in his court. if he wants to see me, he' ll call. if not, oh well. after maybe after 3/4 dates or so i would feel more confident in his interest and start making plans/calling him on my own.

[sedated]

Yeah it's familiar to me alright.

 

From my experience, these girls either

 

1. Have some kind of personal rule that they let guys initiate contact

2. They are already inundated with other guys trying to talk to them and have no need to initiate a conversation/date

 

I'd say just roll with it if they don't exhibit any other negative traits. If however you would like them to be a bit more forthcoming, you'll probably have to play carrot and stick with them and learn how to make them miss you.

[chocolates]

Theres a great thread on here somewhere, and i wish I could find it - its about how a woman should only follow what the guy does in the early stages.

 

For example - base your calling emailing pattern on how often he calls you- and this isnt based on playing games - liek if he calls you call him back, if he emails email him back , but NEVER initiate it on your own. let him set the pace.

 

Lets face it- if you are female and act interested, guys back off.

 

This is not about playing games, its just an unfortunate fact of life.

[ConfusedDater]

Do you like them and have you set up a second date with either of them? If they continue to agree to dates and keep seeing you then I don't see much of a problem with it. Now, if they become flaky and start cancelling dates or not returning calls then that is another issue. Also, you should be alright initiating most of the contact for the first few dates.

 

 

Yeah this is something new I'm going through in dating and not necessarily a bad thing just a confusing thing.

[BetterKarma]

It's generally customary for the guy to do most of the chasing in the beginning. It's just the nature of the beast.

[NewPhillyGuy]

These Two girls I met and the first date went well but it seems that they want me to do all the chasing

 

Both of them only call or email me when I call or email them first. Never on their own only responding to me.

 

Both have agreed to see me again but only contact me unless I contact them.

 

 

Does this sound Familiar to any other guy?

 

I don't like this either, and I would not play the game. Sounds like these two women are very immature. They should be showing interest in return. You should not have to initiate everything. If they don't want to step up and act like adults, I say just drop them and find someone better.

[livinginsbi]

Theres a great thread on here somewhere, and i wish I could find it - its about how a woman should only follow what the guy does in the early stages.

 

For example - base your calling emailing pattern on how often he calls you- and this isnt based on playing games - liek if he calls you call him back, if he emails email him back , but NEVER initiate it on your own. let him set the pace.

 

Lets face it- if you are female and act interested, guys back off.

 

This is not about playing games, its just an unfortunate fact of life.

 

 

I have to agree with this.... After talking to this guy for quite a while online, then finally meeting him and having a great time.. I told him (online im) that I enjoyed his company and liked him... you'd have thougth I was proposing marriage! He backed off big time... but thankfully we were able to talk it out and he understood that me 'liking' him meant just that.. not a life long commitment. So you see, the reaction that we get from 'some' guys when we want to express ourselves gets a negative reaction, so we feel we have to let you lead the way if there is to be progress.

 

edit ~ ok, if you want to call it a game, the game is how do we (as in the girl) show enough interest to let you know we are interested, but not too much interest to so that you think we are trying to tie you down? The problem with this game is guys make the rules and girls have to figure them out... oh and the rules are different for each guy! The game is exhausting!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Since you have only been on one date then I don't see this as a problem. Better that it goes slowly at the beginning anyway rather than tons of emails going back and forth and then having the whole thing fizzle by the second or third date. See what happens after you ask for a second date.

[ConfusedDater]

Since you have only been on one date then I don't see this as a problem. Better that it goes slowly at the beginning anyway rather than tons of emails going back and forth and then having the whole thing fizzle by the second or third date. See what happens after you ask for a second date.

 

It will be the 3rd date with one of them

 

And the 2nd date with the other

 

 

I was hoping the one who I been out twice with was going to call me on my birthday to say "happy birthday" but it didnt happen. Not a big deal though just thought it would have been nice

[hers]

A lot of people do online dating b/c they aren't sure how to approach people in real life, so it comes with the territory that they think this is the "rule of the game", that the guy has to do the chasing. You're either dealing with girls who think there are these hardcore rules they have to follow or you are dealing with girls who really dont actually like you. I vote the first, unless they have read any of your threads on here!

 

With that said, you have to learn to read their body language so you don't have insecurities like this post-date. If their body language ON the date says to you taht they like you and are interested, then OFF the date, they will want to pursue (thoug a lot of girls LOVE being pursued--read: not stalked). So what did their body language say on the date? Did they end it very awkwardly, or did they touch you at all during the date (even just your hand?)? Did they laugh with you, flirt with you? You can't be sure htat girls are playing games until you know how to read them first.

 

But remember, it's such a stigma that dating involves all these rules where the guy has to pay, the guy has to chase, the guy the guy the guy, never the girl. But unfortunately with online dating allowing socially awkward people the chance to date, you will have to learn tthat this will come up from time to time.

[ConfusedDater]

It does seem like they are reading some type of book because both would call me on their own BEFORE the first date and now I have to do all the contacting. With one of them her number only appears on my caller id if I called her first and she is returning my call

[hers]

Like I said, nature of the beast. Ask them about it in a flirty way!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

It will be the 3rd date with one of them

 

And the 2nd date with the other

 

 

I was hoping the one who I been out twice with was going to call me on my birthday to say "happy birthday" but it didnt happen. Not a big deal though just thought it would have been nice

 

I think someone who was really interested in you would have called to wish you a happy birthday. Did you ask for a third date? If you haven't you might want to focus on the person you only had one date with. The other one may be rather standoffish.

[caro33]

I tend to agree that this is probably not just about the women exercising caution about appearing too keen. No call for your birthday (assuming she knew) does tend to go against what I would consider an interested woman's behaviour.

[Day_Walker]

The funny thing about dating games is that all you have to do is dont follow their rules. If you want to do all the chasing then by all means keep doing what you are doing but the smart thing to do is determine their interest (i.e. them calling you, wanting to hang out and such) and if they arent doing that then cut them.

 

Personally when I date this type of girl I may flirt with her or whatever else but fundamentally they are just a female friend to hang out with. Which means that they dont get all the extra consideration that a girl gets when they show an actual interest in me.

[dream83]

Maybe they forgot it was your birthday or didn't realize it until it was too late, i.e. "Oh, no! Today is the 25th! CD's birthday was yesterday!"

 

It sounds like they haven't known you for very long, so it's entirely possible that they just got the date mixed up or were busy thinking about other things and didn't realize it.

[lady00]

After talking to this guy for quite a while online, then finally meeting him and having a great time.. I told him (online im) that I enjoyed his company and liked him... you'd have thougth I was proposing marriage! He backed off big time... but thankfully we were able to talk it out and he understood that me 'liking' him meant just that.. not a life long commitment. So you see, the reaction that we get from 'some' guys when we want to express ourselves gets a negative reaction, so we feel we have to let you lead the way if there is to be progress.

 

I agree with this. After having experienced this many times myself, I try not to act too interested in the beginning, otherwise it scares guys away.

 

As for the birthday thing, CD, she doesn't know you very well and so she could have easily forgotten. Doesn't necessarily reflect her interest level.

[ConfusedDater]

I agree with this. After having experienced this many times myself, I try not to act too interested in the beginning, otherwise it scares guys away.

 

As for the birthday thing, CD, she doesn't know you very well and so she could have easily forgotten. Doesn't necessarily reflect her interest level.

 

 

 

Yeah I know that's why It wasn't that big of a deal

[Luke Skywalker]

Yeah, this seems very familiar and occurs virtually with every woman in my life. If I do nothing, then they dissappear. I don't make nothing out of it because it takes less pressure off me, and I can pursue at my own pace and time.

 

What I call playing games in my book is if a woman is making you believe you have a chance of something with her if she's really not interested, or if she's giving you too much of a hassle to go anywhere with her, while she'll throw herself on a guy she's really interested in, or she's otherwise acting in a way that would get your jealous or spike a reaction from you then I look at that like playing games.

[chocolates]

 

 

See the above thread and you have your answer!!

[chocolates]

This is so so true.

[justbrowsing]

I also agree.

 

As a female who has taken the initiative to not wait and email 'the guy', I felt like I was desperate and it took longer for him to respond. I know if he emailed first, I would've responded quicker. So now, I guess I do play 'the game'. If he wants to get w/me, he'll need to come to me.

 

To the OP: you've got 2 women you're dating, apparently they're interested if they continue to return contact. Just gow/the flow and see what happens.

[brian123]

I think it is humorous that I am asking VERY similar questions. I agree with many of the above posters about dating "games." I am confused based on the current situation I am in "always initiating contact etc...."

 

I was/am in the same confused state as you. IDK, the best advice I can give is this. Don't push them too hard, and in a week (or however long) give each a call, have a talk and basically say "I like you, feel free to call me too."

 

My plan is to wait a week so I stop all forms of pushing, and basically just lay it on the line and say "I like you, if it's alright with you, I would like to take you out on a date (again). If not, that's cool and it was nice to meet you."