preciousgirl82 Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Please tell me if im overreacting.... My ex and i recently got back together and we've been planning some really fun things to do with eachother. Everything was going well but then, today on the phone, I started teasing him a bit about him being overly emotional. He's way more romantic and mushy than i am (which is a little odd for a guy) and i just brought it up. He really doesnt like getting made fun of (who does) so he shouts back at me calling me a "heartless harlot". I couldnt believe he said that to me. He has a habit of saying slightly hurtful things when he doesnt know how to defend himself but this takes the cake. He apologized a few times and promised that next time he will calmly ask me to stop making fun of him because it bothers him. Im nervous now because i dont want to be verbally abused in the future. He's never said anything this harsh when we were together for 6 years before this and i dont want it to start now. Should i forgive him and move on? I cant believe this is how a guy who claims to be my best friend would talk to me, even out of anger. Am i being immature? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Your not being immature. Your right to be offended. But he was angry, and hurt and just lashing out. I've been called some names by guys in my time, but if they dont do it often, and they are TRULY sorry and say sorry and ACT sorry then I would move on and forgive him. If he does it again id consider having a serious conversation about it. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Wow, that was over the top. Well, sometimes people go off the deep end. How were you teasing him...was he trying to tell you to ease up and you kept on going? Respect works two ways...sometimes teasing can go too far and it becomes really hurtful...so don't only look at his reaction, look within yourself as well and think about whether or not you took the teasing too far and it became hurtful and disrespectful to him. He has apologized to you...have you apologized to him? Time for you both to put this behind you and learn from the mistakes. Link to comment
Excalibur Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 He's telling you precisely how he views you......which is why you two broke up in the first place. It's very hard on him that you're the "guy" in the relationship - and it gets very inconvenient for you that he's the "girl" and you make fun of him for it. Link to comment
riley123 Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Well, I agree that it was an immature response on his part, but I it sounds like you know what pushes his buttons and deliberately went there, so I would say your not 100% innocent. Tell him you don’t appreciate him calling you that and you expect that type of behavior to stop. And also tell him that you’re sorry for giving him grief and that you’ll try not to do that anymore. Then go have some fun! Link to comment
rosephase Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 It sounds like an emotional over reaction, but you know he is like that. If in the 6 years you where together he never did anything like this I would not put it under the headed of "verbally abused" and put it more under the headed of "name calling" before you build it into something bigger then it is... I mean if it can get past the language filter here it isn't that bad. To me it sounds like he might be trying to stand up for himself in some of the things that bothered him about the past relationship, like being made fun of. And the first time you take a stand on something it can come out as rather harsh. Try to be respectful of his wishes and trust him to be respectful of yours. Link to comment
anggrace Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 I wouldn't like it either. But some people don't think much of it. Name calling, F you, or even certain tones for me are deal breakers. Accually, it's what put me over the edge in a relationship and caused me to leave with no doubt that I was doing the right thing. I think it's a bad sign of whats to come. Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 i would move on from it. make sure to monitor the name calling cause you dont want it to become a habit but make sure he knows the seriousness of it. That really wasnt that bad of a name from what ive heard in my day but just cause he is a bit more of a softy than you are, dont call it out on him because one day he is going to get sick of being called on it and he will become like stone, then you will miss and wish you had the softness back. becareful! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 immature on his part to react with another name calling. but you were attacking his character. i think you should both apologize to each other. since they were both mouthy responses, maybe make up with some oral. Link to comment
ryan123 Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 he was just defending himself. even if a guy is emotional he doesnt want to hear how much of a baby he is from his girlfriend. Link to comment
fruitylipss Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Ok..This situation could mean one of two things. It just depends on who's doing what? If you were only teasing him and playing around, then I think this guy has some serious anger issues that he needs to straighten out. However, if you usually (we'll call it "nag") nag him and tease him on purpose, just to try and push his buttons, then you would be at fault. Either way, this kind of argument could be avoided. If you know he's not into "playing" around, then don't tease him, because he'll take it seriously. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 he was just defending himself. even if a guy is emotional he doesnt want to hear how much of a baby he is from his girlfriend. i agree with this. it's like a putdown. and it's from someone you are supposed to care about. Link to comment
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