Don't know what to do..

[silentrecon487]

Nothing ever gets better. I still miss her more than anything. Its been a little over 2 months. We were together for 8 months, but were BEST friends for another 8 months before that. We were so insanely close. We used to talk for like 4 hours a night. She broke up with me, and now is with one of my (ex)friends who's leaving for college after the summer.

 

I want to get back together, but more than anything I just want to be friends. I don't know what to do anymore. I told her its too early to be friends, and I can't do it right now. We did NC for a week, and she kept texting me and calling me nonstop. I never replied, but finally did after a week. She came to my house and bawled her heart out about how much she doesnt want to lose me as a friend and I mean so much to her, blah blah. I told her I wanted to be friends, and I just needed time.

 

We've been NC since that for over a week, and she hasn't tried to contact me once. We've NEVER gone more than 2-3 days without contacting eachother, even if we don't actually talk. It just killed me to go this long without hearing anything from her. I finally broke down and asked her why she hasnt said anything. We somehow kinda fought and now she's just basically ready to throw away the friendship and just keep me out of her life.

 

I dont know what to do. I'm trying to move on, but nothing works. If I stay in contact, I get hurt. If I do NC, I miss her so much and just end up going crazy. I keep checking her myspace to see if she's changed stuff, and it just drives me crazy. I want to just move on from her. I'm so sick of all this pain. Anytime it starts to get better, it just gets worse a few days later. It seriously feel like this will never end. I miss my best friend. Maybe I should just try to be friends again, since NC doesnt seem to be working. I dont know anymore.

 

Sorry for the rant, I just needed somewhere to let it out.

 

edit: just to clarify...I've tried to do the normal stuff for recovery. I started working out, I started talking to other girls, doing hobbies, whatnot. Some days it works, other days, like today, it just doesnt.

[BrokenDuc]

since there is a third party and her heart is with someone else you have to do yourself a favour and go NC.

 

and yes visiting social networking sites counts as breaking NC so remove yourself from those places.

 

time to focus on you now my friend....

you're in the very early stages it seems, give yourself the time to grieve and cry, it is part of the process, dont do anything stupid in a fit of panic like text them, dont jump on websites, dont call them, keep your hands away from those.

 

read through superdaves posts on this forum, it will help you and will be the beginning of you working on yourself.

 

good luck and take care we are here for you.

[Aldo25]

Nothing ever gets better. I still miss her more than anything. Its been a little over 2 months.

 

I want you to reread this quote and realize you've just explained why it's not getting better. IT'S ONLY BEEN 2 MONTHS!

 

After two months I was still a wreck too. It takes time, for me (2 year relationship) it took me 6 months to even start to get over it. You were together for eight months, I imagine another month or so and you'll be starting to feel better. But don't try to pretend you'll never get better because you havent shown any signs yet.

[Vonnegut42]

What Aldo said is completely true - it's just going to take more time. Just use this time to find your life outside of a relationship. Not only is it nice to know that you have a life that you can be happy with while being single, but it's also a comfort to know that it is there for when things go south in future relationships. The pain goes away eventually and you'll be stronger for it in the end - ride it out and let come what may. And other general nonsense like that.

 

Peace.

[BrokenDuc]

people waste too much time waiting and hoping

 

the faster you accept the situation, realise its not the end its the beginning of a new life and so you let go of the past then you will start to heal.

 

without the advice of articles on this forum i would not be able to be where I am today within 2 weeks.

 

everyone talks about NCNCNCNCNC but NC wont get you anywhere if you dont LET GO

 

Dont waste your time waiting and hoping! spend it working on getting yourself back and improving yourself ASAP!

[silentrecon487]

By now I've basically given up getting back together, but I REALLY want to be friends with her again. She was the best friend I've ever had, and I don't want to give that up. But right now it basically seems like she doesn't care. She's kinda ignoring me right now, so I don't even know what to do anymore.

[deang]

dude make some new friends...you don't want to be in the friends zone anyway...it sucks...I never let the friend zone happen...I'll let them think we are friends then I turn it back to not friends because I just don't like hanging out with women as friends...I like hanging out with women as dates. Some of the only women friends I have are my friends gf's and some work people...other than that I don't want to get them or me thinking differently.

[deang]

oh let me clarify...I do hope to be friends with my ex one day just to get her guard down then I'm gonna turn it back to not friends. If this is your plan be prepared for a long hard road. I'm hoping by the time I want to do this (3-4 months) that I won't care anymore.

[Aldo25]

By now I've basically given up getting back together, but I REALLY want to be friends with her again. She was the best friend I've ever had, and I don't want to give that up. But right now it basically seems like she doesn't care. She's kinda ignoring me right now, so I don't even know what to do anymore.

 

I went through this too.

 

Ask yourself this, if you were her friend, and she (and her new guy) invited you to the movies, would you be able to go, hang out with her and watch her make out with the new guy in front of you? I know I wouldnt be able to, and that's one of the things that killed any thoughts I had of becoming her friend (that and she jointed the army, lol. But that's another story).