I need help please and advice

[Funstuff]

This is long so i warn you i will try to cut it as short as possible but its hard.

Im 17, 18 in 1-2 months, Girlfriend is 18.

Been Going out 1 year as of July 15th.

First 5-6 Months, i was a emotinally abuseive a**. I Don't Know why, at all. I Ended up on Anti-depressents, more medicane for ADHD (implusiveness), and therapy To try to stop myself. i also have OCD which doesnt help

I Was so mean im ashamed of it, I loved her but treated her this way i dont know why.

Recently

Iv Sort of been more "snappy" Due to stress of exams I havnt been on my anti-depressents (Im trying to get on them again asap) and such, And she said every time i get mad or somthing over a completlty stupid reason (it would happen once a day on avg), It would remind her of How much of an ass i was. She said she HATES me when that happens, and she was in front of my balling her eyes out because she said she hates it that she hates me, She hates how she loves me to death then she hates me. I go home and cry myself cause i dont understand whats wrong with me. Why can't i love a girl normally, Why cant i be a normal human being. I Dont understand myself.

since this most recent breakdown, Iv been trying so hard to hold myself, iv done ok but its only been 2 -3 days so im still scared.

 

But also Exams were just over and her work slapped on 5 shifts a week, and shes really stress and ALSO she hasnt been on her birth control which she said messes with her hormons making her snappy and crabby etc (i dont know cause i dont take it but meh).

 

__________________

 

All in all, were both upset we love each other to death, I dont know what ot do, we see each other every day, i know probably not the best, but were best friends and were before we went out. Shes been snappy lately im scared im going to lose her, we've been rocky for a while i never noticed but she said she did. (while being 1 month). I dont know if the snappy of her is cause of her birth control and stress of work. (I own a online gaming business so i hardly work but get payed alot, and she said shes jelous that i get to do no work and get more money than she does and she works hard and watchs people hang out with friends etc.)

 

Today she asked for a day to herself tomorrow, and i know i should'nt be scared, but i am.

Im just so worried, and my anti-depressents arnt in my system to help my ocd from over worriing.

 

We've broken up 2 times before i cant handle it anymore, it feels as if my heart hurts every time a situation like this happens. I just feel pain, and i know i caused the situation, but i dont see it. What can i do?

 

she also said today, she worried that were going to mature at different rates (we both are going to univeristy), and that we wont see each other often etc which im not worried about. Im just incredibly worried cause i dont want ot be like "Why are you being a ***" When its actually her Birth control or somthing, i dont know what that does.

 

 

please as you can probably tell my mind is going nuts i dont know what to do.

 

please someone make some sense out of it.

 

i dont want ot lose her. Should i be worried

?

[Aviatormy]

JUST RELAX! I know it is hard.

 

I was having issues like that at your age as well and it SUCKED!

 

What I began doing was writing down the things that bothered me about my relationship rather than bringing it up to my GF everytime.

 

I would write things down for a week and then look over them every weekend. I found out that many of the things that bothered me when I wrote them down, no longer were an issue by the weekend. This saved a lot of pointless arguments

 

I would suggest that you start off slow. Try to write down these instances each day and wait until the next day to bring it up (ONLY IF IT STILL BOTHERS YOU). See how that works out and eventually build up to witholding your anger for a week at a time.

 

Hope this makes sense! best of luck!

[Funstuff]

wow thats the best advice iv seen

 

Thanks ^^

[Aviatormy]

wow thats the best advice iv seen

 

Thanks ^^

 

Anytime!

 

I now have very successful relationships. My anger and irritations are few and far between. In fact, the night I met my GF I was on my way to take her home and I ran over a really long and thick wire which swung up and was scratching the side of my car. My GF was amazed that I laughed about it and acted as if it didn't bother me. I think that she was more worried about my car than I was.

 

To this day she tells me that my attitude about that whole situation is what made her really like me in the first place because most guys would have completely flipped out about it.

 

It's ok to have a little anger here and there. It is ok to have stupid arguments with your SO. I actually relate random arguments to your immune system. Reason being, if you never got sick then your body wouldn't know how to defend itself and you would die from a simple cold. Relationships are the same way, if you never argue throughout your relationship, when the day comes that you do get into a fight, you will not know how to react and your relationship can die.

 

It is those little dissagreements and arguments that will make your relationship solid, or end it. You just have to make sure that you choose your battles wisely!

[Funstuff]

Thanks heh, its good to see someone that had similar issues.

 

I just used to get agrivated over STUPId things then later id be like wow im so childish.

 

Thanks ill try the writeing down.

[JB07]

Hey there funstuff...

 

Your in a tuff situation, cause you are in love but you are allowing your anger, depression, OCD, and ADHD take control of everything. You dont want to loose the girl but you arent sure how to keep her. You are both going to diff schools and thats goign to be ruff too. so heres my advice...

 

Before you say something, think about it. Its easy to lash out and say stupid * * * * but you have to remember that you cant take stuff back once you say it.

Also, if you love eachother as much as it shows cause you stuck together you ahve to keep in mind that when you are in a rage your GF is prob scared, and emotional abusiveness hurts. You dont want her to feel liek a piece of garbage so that when she goes off to college she cheats on you. You need to get back on your meds becasue it seems to help you out. And right now that you are starting a new chapter in your life and going to college I dont think that you should even be off meds cause its hard to deal with life and its stress. And it only gets harder.

Try not to take your anger out on your gf. Writing helps alot, but you need to write and let her read it if you cant talk about things without getting frustrated. Writting is soo much easier.

Its easier said than done to say take it easy cause all those issues you have are hard to deal with.

 

Just think before you speak that helps me..

Good luck hunnie!!