Jump to content

Can we be friends?

Recommended Posts

Can you still be friends with your ex?


I never really thought much about it until I had a conversation (through AIM) with my ex of 6 1/2 years the other day.


It was a civil & honest discussion. I asked him about his new girl and told him what I liked the sound of and didnt. I discussed my bf. I could feel he didnt like hearing about him but was doing his best to be a friend. I know at this point he still has very strong feelings for me, but they are def subsiding. He was (is) a really great guy, just was not the one. I know on my half we could but I wonder if he'll ever really get over me. I def don't want to hang out and be friends if he still yearns for me bc I don't want him to get his hopes up. But hopefully he will forget about me in that way.


So I was thinking, we both say we wish we could be friends, so will we someday? Have any of you?

Link to comment

i have never stayed in touch with any of my exes, with two exceptions.


the first is the woman i was married to and was with for 14 years, and the reason i'm still in touch is because we had 2 children together, who are now 11 and 8 years of age. So no choice really. We are in contact daily, and remain civil, for the sake of the children. There is no doubt whatsoever that if we didnt have children together, i would not be in contact with her at all.


The second one is my ex-before-last. I'm still in touch with her because i'm fairly sure i still love her, and vice versa. Plus, she needs me just now. Who knows what will happen there, but if we dont get back together it is my intention to stay very good friends with her forever.

Link to comment

well iknow im good. i have no romantic feeling for him. i care for him as a person. never felt weird when i found out he was dating someone. i was actually sorta happy bc i though maybe she could give him what he wanted.


at this point he is def not over me, but we will see what time brings.

Link to comment
so when he initiates a conversation i should reject it?


If he calls, talk to him, but don't give him hope either. I don't advocate being cold and cruel to the dumpee though. Be nice, kind, thoughtful. It seems on ENA, we get dumpees who come on here lamenting about their dumpers being cold and cruel, and then they crucify the dumpers. It's not nice to be cold and cruel. What goes around, comes around.

Link to comment

I think after six years it is likely that the feelings have abated enough to yes, be friends. I am friends with a few exes who have been ex's a long time. One is my ex husband and another is someone i dated briefly after my divorce. Not best friends or anything but i care about their well being and wish them well and vice versa. There is no jealousy whatsoever, so yeah it is possible.


If it has been six years he probably isn't yearning all that hot and heavy.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...