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Does Anyone have a happy getting back together story?


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I have been with my boyfriend for over two years and live with him. The past few months have been rocky for us and at the beginning of last week we decided to go on a break. He moved some of his things to his dads place and I stayed in our apartment. I work full time 50+ hours a week and go to night school as well, and he has been unemployed since March of this year. He is currently pursing an unpaid internship and its become tiring to pick up the slack financially. When I ask him about getting a part time job, he overreacts, saying that he may as well quit his internship and go back to being a restaurant manager. So I guess I could say that money is the biggest thing we argue over and I know he is tired of it, but I am tired too. I try not to nag, but is it possible that he feels bad about himself for not contributing? Could that be a reason he needs some space?


Since the break, I have not initiated any contact and he has contacted me. The first time we saw each other after four days of not seeing each other, he came to spend the night and everything was so perfect. We made love, he brought me a few of my favorite things without me asking, ect. He still wants to be on a break, says he needs space, and I know I do too.


I guess what I am trying to get at is, Have any of you survived a break and live to tell the story?


I feel as though I read a lot of these threads and its so depressing. Some people can to make it work, dont they? Can people find the qualities they fell in love with again?


We are going on a long weekend get away on Thursday... What are some things I could do for him to show him I went out of my way? But without smothering him, pestering him, ect. Something to make him smile and remind him of how happy we can be together.


What are some things I shouldnt do while on our vacation? What are the things that push people away even more?

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He wants a break but will come over, have sex and leave and tells you he still wants a break? Hmmm that sounds like he is getting everything he wants and you are letting him get it? May I ask why? Also, are you going away with him for a long weekend? Have talked about the wkend? Clear about boundaries etc?

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Me and my boyfriend kept fighting. So i've moved out. Were not engaged any more either. And were seeing eachother twice a week. Its like an extended break sort of thing but were still going out.


My plan is to not text, email or call him. Let him MISS me and let him COME to me and let things move at their natural pace. Things werent working before but there much better now. I miss him a lot, but I've picked up more hours at work, am doing all the things I've put off for ages like learning to drive and am going out lots with friends. Just keep busy and let him do the chasing when your apart.


It sounds like your doing all the right things, just enjoy your times together


When your on the long break play it cool. Dont talk about the relationship just be the you he fell in love with and ENJOY yourself.


EDIT: Are you still officially girlfriend and boyfriend and are you seeing other people? Dont sleep with him unless your SURE that your going to be with him in the future.

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I discussed with him the terms of the "break" and he said we are still together, not going to see other people, he just needs time to think things over. Our break was designated as three weeks long, and after that time if things are going decently, we would spend more time together and talk about the future in terms of relationship at that point in time.


So I am not bothering him with questions about what is going on, just trying to put on my happy face everytime I do see him. I want to give him the chance to miss me, and things have become so routine that changing things up could be good for us.

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That's how I felt when he told me he is still going to go to his dads tonight to stay. At first I thought he just used me for sex, having his cake and eating it too, but I can tell when he is emotionally removed. Right before we started our break, he was anger and bitter, needed space. I can see by some time apart, he was missing me. Our sex wasnt just sex, it was like when we first started dating... passionate, tender, we took our time enjoying each other... Where as prior to the break, we would have sex just to get the job done, same positions because we knew what worked for each of us to climax, and then that was it.


This was different, like getting to know each others body again, kissing, which we NEVER do. So I dont know, maybe I am a fool.


I am going on the long weekend, so he is going to be at his dad place from today until thursday. I have people telling me that it isnt a good idea, but everytime we take a vacation, it sparks something again. Maybe time away from all the Bull**** like work, school, money, ect. will help us to look past all of those things.

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Yeah time away is good. You both get to miss eachother and find out exactly what you want. I agree the sex with my bf is much better now we dont see eachother more. Theres no time limit on us being apart. I need to sort out my life, a job and get back together when were on more equal terms as in monetary etc. Im putting my happy face on too and keeping busy and going LC, low contact, so hes doing all the contacting...I hope it all works out. It sounds like he still loves you and wants to make it work.


How often are you seeing him in the week?


WE just need to enjoy ourselves and not worry and see how things pan out. Whats meant to be is meant to be. At least it gives us time to work on ourselves as people.

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Well last week we spent four days apart and three days together. This week he is a his dads place M-Th evening and then we are taking off on our weekend.


Do you think its possible for him to get over his issues?


We have discussed not dating other people, but I just dont want to feel like he will do something behind my back. I am fairly positive that it wont, but I feel like he is in the perfect position right now. He doesnt want to have to deal with living with me full-time, but can come up when he wants to.


I wish this process didnt have to take so long, when we are together and not fighting it all feels right. I know that if we are meant to be, we will be...

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  • 2 weeks later...

Yes people do break up and get back together, but it's very difficult and things HAVE to change. Otherwise you would not have broken up. If you cannot identify the problems and fix or resolve them, you may get back together, but it will not last.


I told you it's rough. I've lived it. My bf and I now have a great relationship. It's not perfect and never will be, but we are aware of what we both did wrong and we work on it every single day.

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I told you it's rough. I've lived it. My bf and I now have a great relationship. It's not perfect and never will be, but we are aware of what we both did wrong and we work on it every single day.


Things like this really brighten my day. I can only hope to find that kind of arrangement.

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Just take it easy and definitely enjoy the time you have together. It may seem like a step back but it could be an entirely new, great beginning. I know it's a very hard adjustment to go from living together to seeing each other a few times a week, but things sound great so far. To me, it does not sound like he's using you - it just sounds like he needs some space and that maybe living together is not the best thing right now.

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