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how to deal with jealousy


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i've been jealous in a previous relationship, and am now in one with a girl that i trust completely.


when we first started dating there was an issue with her ex (he would call late at night, wasn't over her, etc.) i was not jealous through that ordeal, but now am trying to figure out how to react to a new situation.


she's overseas for a month, and is posting pictures online. among them are some of her in a club, dancing with her sister. there are two guys who are obviously focused on them. i remember the night this happened, she told me that some guys were trying to dance with them.


i've been talking to her on her phone and there are guys yelling out their phone number at her, and during that conversation she told me that three different people made comments to her on the way home.


she has also changed her profile pic to include one of her male friends she made over there.


my question is, how do i react to these situations without seeming jealous and insecure? right now, i am a little. it's easy to do when your SO is overseas and you aren't receiving the attention you are used to.


i have no reason, however, to feel this way. i truly think that the reason she tells me these things and posts them is not to make me jealous, but because she has no reason to hide them (there is nothing for me to be insecure about.)


so, are my feelings justified? i do not want to be the "jealous type." what are good responses when she shows me these pics or tells me about these situations? thanks in advance for any/all advice.

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Hey the answer is simple:



If your girlfriend was going to cheat, why would she tell you about all of these instances? I mean she is clearly showing that she has nothing to hide; if she was going to cheat, she would have done it already.


Another point is that her attitude and nature would change slightly, instead of being incredibly open about it as she is being.


Just have a little trust man, instead of concentrating on what's happening in her life; take this opportunity to concentrate on what's happening in YOUR life. That way you show her that you have confidence and trust in not just her, but yourself. A relationship needs 2 people to have a life of their own, aside from the life they share, that's what creates a big part of the attraction; the fact that you don't NEED your partner to be happy.


Just go out with friends, enjoy yourself and welcome your girlfriend back when she arrives home. That way you'll both feel that little bit closer because she knows you can trust her. Life is too short to be jealous my friend


Take care

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  • 4 weeks later...

well your question remains unanswered.


Yes, I think your feelings are justified. Although sounds like its pretty clear she's not violating any boundries as she's being so open and honest. She's talking to you like she'd talk to a friend which is a good thing.


What should you do when she talks, and shows pictures of these sorts of parties- my vote is make a joke but not at her expense. What would you say if your friend was like "whoa damn this dude was totally trying to hook up with me and my sister..." you'd probably have something funny to say- so say that same thing. This way hopefully she'll reconize that you like sharing her stories with her and are not going to flip out that guys hit on her.


If the trust is there- it's all good; you're feelings are justified just don't let them take hold of you.

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