Online dating question

[Stambler]

I think the thing to keep in mind is that you should NOT get attached to a person before you meet. There is a great danger of having a physical as well as mental image of this person in your mind, only to be disappointed when you meet.

 

Most people who don't post pictures do so because of their profession (i.e. they do not want clients, students, co-workers... to see them up on a dating site). I have had dates with women who have no profile pic, but will gladly send one via personal e-mail upon request.

 

My word of caution is this... every time I have had a date with a woman who has only a face picture, she has been LARGE in real life. Every single time. When the profile states "Athletic and toned" or "About Average" and they end up 50 pounds overweight, I feel as if I have been deceived...

 

OK, waiting for Batya to disagree!

[Batya33]

I agree with you totally other than how to read in to a head shot. My photos were one or two headshots and one down to the waist I think or head/shoulders. But, I listed my height and weight which was very thin. I even added three pounds in case I met them after a haagen dazs night, lol. Seriously, I preferred to add a few pounds (I am petite so a few pounds is relevant) so there would be NO surprises. I met over 100 men in person. I asked most of them whether i resembled my picture. The answer was either yes or "you look better in person." Obviously they perhaps were being polite but they seemed sincere. I also posted at least one picture that was taken within the last 6 months.

 

I should add that I do NOT photograph well so a main reason I chose head shots was because those happened to be the acceptable photos and where I didn't have to decapitate an ex's head or other body parts to post it ;-)

[Stambler]

^ Fair enough. But wouldn't you agree that it is just asking for trouble to actually lie about your size? Why do that to yourself? I'm 48 years old and take very good care of myself. I feel as if I am "A few extra pounds" but that literally means 5-10 pounds! So when I meet a woman who claims to be "Athletic" or "Average" and is much larger than I am ------

 

Oh, another one for you batya...

 

What do you think about women who have obvious pictures that show off their boobs on those sites?

[lila...]

Well, she sent back some more pics and let's just say I am definitely asking her out soon!

 

Good, see? It was as easy as asking her .

[Batya33]

^ Fair enough. But wouldn't you agree that it is just asking for trouble to actually lie about your size? Why do that to yourself? I'm 48 years old and take very good care of myself. I feel as if I am "A few extra pounds" but that literally means 5-10 pounds! So when I meet a woman who claims to be "Athletic" or "Average" and is much larger than I am ------

 

Oh, another one for you batya...

 

What do you think about women who have obvious pictures that show off their boobs on those sites?

 

I've never lied about my size, ever. I wouldn't date a woman who showed off her cleavage, lol. I think it's fine when women have pictures like that other than they should not complain when men assume their focus is on getting laid. I had tasteful pictures that still were feminine and flattering.

[gg.24]

Does everybody seriously think that it would be better to meet her in person? I think that if you meet her and happen to not be attracted to her, that she would feel worse in that respect if you rejected her.

 

There is a lot of girls (guys too, but I don't go around looking at guys pictures) who take strange angled shots that can seem to make them look much smaller or prettier than they actually are. Now i'm not trying to be shallow or anything, because i'm really not, but attraction is attraction and if it's not there it's not going to work.

 

I think it'd be easier to view a couple more photo's and make sure that you're attracted to her, rather than meeting up with her, realizing that you're not attracted to her and then ignoring or avoiding her.

 

I don't agree with this at all. I have also done online dating, and there have been occasions where the guys have looked pretty handsome in SEVERAL pictures they have sent me, only to not find them attractive at all when we have met in person. The reverse has also happened where I really wasn’t digging the pictures, but when we met there was instant chemistry. That is why you will never know until you meet in person. You can’t get chemistry just through pictures!