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Why do I find it so difficult to meet anyone. I'm 32 and for the last year I've been online visiting "personals" sites posting ads and responding to other people's ads. And yet, I'm still alone. Everyone acts like they want to meet you or chat further and then nothing. I never knew everyone was the same! I look to make friends and very few work out.


I also look to find sex and even that is hard to find! I'm told I'm a good-looking guy all the time. I post my photo so other guys can see what I look like, they tell me I look good, say they want to meet and then not show up. I'm not even looking for something complicated like a relationship, just sex. I've deprived myself out of it for 30 years and I'm a little frustrated at this point. I think about jumping all the time now...

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Hey cadaver,


Welcome to ENA


You mention a lot of indirect ways of meeting people (like online). What about meeting people in other contexts? It's easier to get rejected in a context that is just about dating and sex, like those sites. In a more relaxed setting, like if you'd for instance join a sportsclub, a choir, a theatre (whatever is your thing) allows you to connect to people in the setting of a shared interest that is not sex. I think that may work better for you, that's all.

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in addition to the ideas arwen gave, maybe it would be good to give your profile to some friends or others ( i could take a look at your profile too). also, learn how to screen people better online. i get the sense you are a gay man, correct? i read a really good book, but it's for women, "The rules for online dating." while it is targeted at heterosexual women, it has some really great tips for meeting mr. right. like only reply to ads with photos, write an upbeat fun profile, if they don't ask you out with in 4 emails, NEXT! in your case, since you are a guy, you can ask them out yourself. meet early on, in public, for ice cream or coffee and keep the date light. if they talk about exes, sex, or have some red flags, NEXT!


people who are genuinely single and looking to date will show up when you make plans. some people who don't post photos aren't looking to meet others. they may be in a relationship already or are not interested in truly meeting, for one reason or another.

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