Christmas is over

[sueblue]

Hey Guys and Gals,

 

Well Christmas is over and there was no phone call no e-mail nothing to get some kind of closure. After eight years of sharing my life with someone in return I get to feeling it's finally over. I have kept the no contact rule for over two months hoping that he would call so I can tell him how much he hurt me. Am I just dreaming about this? I have read that most of the time the ex will contact you, but what if they don't. What if you still have things over at there place do you think they will ever come back to you? the things I mean. He knows how important these things are to me but will not give them back. This Christmas was really hard all my oraments were at his place they were my mothers she has passed away and they are all I have left of her in memories. And that beep could'nt even give them to me for Christmas. I will not contact him yet because I was in such a bad relationship I am not strong enough to talk or see him now. Whats wrong with this guy!

[kuhl282000]

Hey SueBlue

 

I'm sorry you had it so tough over the holidays because of this let's call him a jerk. As you know I just went through a pretty bad situation myself.And like you the holidays were just not the same. I did some drinking and going out just trying to erase all the pain. It still lingers daily, but it does get better slowly.I just want it gone altogether. I was lucky I got all of my stuff. You have the right to your stuff, and you have the right to face him. If and when you choose.You may not get the closeure you are looking for from him, I really think that is something that is going to have to come from you. If it is to much for you to do that, go over and get your things, you may want to arrange for some close friends to pick up your stuff for you.Maybe even some really big guys. You just have to remember some people can just be plain mean. And some people in relationships hold peoples stuff as sort of like a hostage. Knowing that you will come to pick up your things someday. And that is the sick moment they are waiting for. You may have to come to terms with the hard facts that you may not ever get any real answers from this person. Some people are just no capable of true feelings. You have to look at this as just a period in your life that ended up as a big mistake. Yeah you wasted some time, but you have plenty left to start a new and happy life. I'll tell you a quick story about a lady neighbor friend of mine. Talking about unanswered questions and closeure. She met a guy on line, they hit it off. She lived in florida, He lived in California. To make a long story short, they went to Las Vegas, he flew, she drove ,they got married. The night of the honeymoon. they got blasted. Went to bed. Next morning, she woke up. The guy was gone, all of her money and credit cards were gone, and her new car was gone. She was stranded in Vegas, and I had to wire her money to get back home. Do you think she felt dumb. This "SO CALLED love of her life had been talking to her on line and by phone for over a year. I mean a year, this guy went so far as to marry her, talk about sick.Think she has some unanswered questions. They never caught the guy, he charged some stuff on her credit cards. His address was a phoney P.O. box, his name was not his real name...Think she was hurt, she has never been the same.she had to get a dirvorce from a guy who she did not even know his real name, but now she had his phoney last name. This happened 2002. Like you and me she had some questions she would have liked to have answered. She really loved this creep. Mine betrayed me cheated and lied, what can you really do, how do you defend deception ? Truth is, you don't, and you really don't want or need to. Just try and get your stuff back and move on. I'm proud of you on the No Contact rule. I have had the same rule in effect. It would not work any other way for me. Keep the faith, and your chin up. If you need to chat in private. You can pm me anytime. I'm with you girl.

 

Peace of Mind......soon

 

Kuhl

[Cid]

I hate to say this but is seems that he is trying to move on and you need to do the same. You never know he might call you some day but probly not. I wish you the best of luck on geting over him.

[neva_black_n_white]

Hey sueblue

I'm sorry to that you hear that you had a bad relationship and that you've yet to get your items back.

One thing that I have always wondered about is that if both participants within a relationship are sticking by the no contact rule then will there ever be any contact? Whose say is it on who does or doesn't contact and is it worthwhile?

All emotions and arguments or communication anything could be settled by contacting them. It sounds like you have no intent of getting back with him, as you want to say how hurt you are and wants things back. And for that I am proud of you.

However if that is so, when you feel you are ready to talk I believe you should make actions into getting your possessions back as it sounds like they are sentimental. In this you will show you are a stronger persona don't you deserve better. I personally don't know if I could stick by the no contact rule and I give you credit for that but I would get back what is rightly yours!

 

Good luck and I hope you have had a great Christmas (although I see it as still Christmas in some sense, so if any worry is there please forget it and have a great time)

kel