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Doubtful about meeting the one after break up


nuttybuddy

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Hello,

 

I think one of the main reasons why I wasn't willing to let go of my terrible bf was because I am getting old and I'm getting less hopeful about meeting the one. I mean, seriously. I'm 33. I'm competing with all the women out there who are between the ages of 23 and 33. It's hard.

 

I feel like there are so few guys left who are going to be single (never married) and around my age--preferably only a few years older than me.

 

It's especially tough to meet a guy in my line of work cuz my job is really demanding and I'm in it at least for the next few years. (And no, there's no option to switch jobs because it's the career I strived to get.) I mean, I love my job, it's just that I don't want to be a spinster. I want a family.

 

The crazy thing is, I don't think I get attracted to guys who aren't in my line of work. So, I would prefer if I met someone at work, but because work is so demanding, there's really no room for romance.

 

I guess I'm writing this cuz I'm scared that I may never meet that guy.

 

And even if I were to meet him at work, there's no way I can start a family while working in such a demanding job.

 

My ex calls me from time to time and he keeps mentioning how old he's getting (he's my age) because he feels his body cannot keep up as it used to. How does THAT make me feel? I'm practically 8 months older than him even though we're the same age. I almost want to slap him for mentioning age to me. I can't help but wonder if he's trying to get empathy from me, or if he's trying to insinuate that he needs to find a mate soon and settle down but at the same time implying that he's glad that he's not attached to an old fart like me. aaarrrrrgh.

 

I donno.... on the grand scale of things, I could say, who cares? Why should I make marriage such a high priority in life? But I guess, I want to experience it. And I don't want to be a left field statistic of someone who marries finally in her 40's. Ugh. (No offense to those who got married so late. If it makes u feel any better, I'm treading the same road.)

 

Ya know, I'm not ugly I don't think. I had plenty of guys like me in the past. It's just that I've always been selective and now it's come to this.

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Jeez, you're really making me feel old! C'mon! Age is really just a number. I am 52, was married once, very briefly. NO church wedding, white gown, nothing. I still have plenty guys who flirt with me and a steady bf of nine years. If I felt like you about myself, I'd be home alone with me cats. Lighten up and have fun!

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Nuttybuddy, I got married when I was 32 and divorced at 36. If I had it to do over, I would have held out for what I now want. IOW, I thought I had to be married by X age and I did that, but look where it ended me up. I'm now 48 and sure, I'm not happy to be single at this age, but at least I'm not trapped in some loveless marriage or in something where I feel like I've settled. You are still very young and I'm sure the right one will come along, as long as you put yourself out there.

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all i can say is don't be fooled by all these ppl who get married cos they think it's expected of them...so many ppl these days are splittin up cos they realise they are trapped in a loveless marriage! u r in a far better position...just have fun with life and ull find someone to have fun!

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