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Not sure how I can help my one friend

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I've had a good friend that I've known for about 4 years now. We recently got back into contact with each other and have been hanging out nearly every weekend. He's a great guy and he means well, but he has a problem with alcohol and smoking weed. His family has a long history of alcoholism and it seems like he's running down the same path. Nearly every weekend, he wants to go out and get plastered. I'm fine with that every once and awhile, but lately it's been getting excessive. He calls nearly every night to do it. Even during the week now.


To make matters worse, his stepdad physically and emotionally abuses him. Nearly every time I drive him home from somewhere, he tries to find excuses for me to drive him around so he doesn't have to go home.


I'd say he should move out, but he has no money. He's only 18. Every paycheck he gets (only makes 8 bucks an hour) he spends on beer and cigarettes, then he tries to pawn money off of me.


I'm getting tired of his behavior, and it doesn't seem like he'll ever realize what he's doing. I tell him all the time he has to cut down on the drinking, and he agrees, but then the next night goes out and does it again.


What can I really do here?

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You won't be able to help him until he realizes that he's spiraling himself.


Sometimes, its a good idea to let go a bit. Start making excuses as to why you can't go out. Limit it to a day per week with him. After, start missing a week or two at a time. As long as it takes. It's not as if you're abandoning him, but more along the lines of showing him that without a good friend or two, he's got nothing. A lot of the time, that jolts people back into reality instead of living in the moment.

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I do agree with what you say here ^^ but if this guy has a problem he may not put two and two together to figure out why the OP is distancing himself. It may be hard to do, but I would say something to the friend about his drinking before doing the distancing thing. This would be hard to do if I were in the OP's shoes, but in the long run might be the best way to help.

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