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how long should I do NC?

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As of last night I ended things with my girlfriend. I feel like I've walked away from the love of my life and that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to find true love from a woman.


Since I'm the dumper on this one I don't know how long I should implement NC. Honestly I can't be friends with her right now because it's just too painful for me. I still have strong feelings for her.

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Because I'm in self destructive mode right now and I don't think I should be happy. I've made too many mistakes in the relationship already. I have a bad credit score that I'm trying to repair.


I also looked ahead to the future and saw myself making mistakes as a husband so I just threw up my hands and gave up on the relationship. I'm afraid of making mistakes in the relationship.


I'm also not going to be able to afford 100% of the household bills when we live together so I concluded that this relationship would not go anywhere. I already decided that I would not live with her unless I could afford to pay 100% of the bills.


I'm already exercising plan B. I'm not going to date anyone else. I intend to remain single for at least another 10 years and continue to put money away every month into a retirement fund. By age 59 I'll be living comfortably. Financial and economic freedom is more important than anything else going on in my life. It's more important than a relationship.


So this plan should keep me free of heartache and drama until I go to heaven which will be in 80 years or less. During my free time I'll think about this girl that I just broke up with.

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WOW - what self imposed exhile... Your poor gf never stood a chance and I must say I think this is the first time I heard someone get dumped over a poor credit rating.


Well I'm sure she's heartbroken but better now than later. If you couldn't find a way to work through this then you most likely would have flaked or crumbled over something else.


It sounds sad.

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You sound like the male version of the girlfriend I just broke up with (I posted my final email to her in another thread). Honestly, with this mentality you've already made a decision that one path in your life is all you're going to follow. As another poster stated, she had no chance. This profound sadness and self-imposed exile is in your mind and only you have the power to fix it. It sounds like you've figured out how to be financially stable so maybe you can work on how to be mentally and emotionally stable.


As for how long you shouldn't contact her... only you can decide. If I were you then I'd spare the poor girl who's heart you just broke and never contact her again. If talking to her is that important then maybe fixing your issues should be your first priority.

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