Don't know what to do.

[S agapo]

The more I look the more I want my ex back

The less I look, the more I want him back

 

 

Why is this?

I don't feel I am me anymore, and I am not focusing on me, just him.

 

I really wish I knew what was going on with him. Anything, just to give me some closure, and help my mind focus on my life. I feel so trapped in a person I don't want to be anymore and didn't expect to be. I am so unhappy and I am keeping inside to keep it together, but I have this constant hurting which I feel I will never recover. Its been over a year since we broke up and nothing has changed. (I haven't heard from him or seen him and he hasn't shown any interest in me since) I should be feeling better, but I feel I am getting worse. I feel so empty yet so full of bitterness.

 

 

I really want to start dating again, but I feel there is no one. My confidence is lower then lower.

 

I keep picking out what went wrong, and trying to figure out the reasons. He has totally forgotton about me, and I still cannot believe we broke up still. Why?

 

My only closure is just wanting to know if he is with someone, or for me to meet someone who messures up to him and what I look for in partner. I don't think I am going to find that and its draining me guys.

 

 

I just want to be happy

[nelz]

I don't know what to say because I feel the same as you do. I feel your pain, but I'm not sure if knowing he is with someone else with give you any closure, and in fact worsen your pain.

 

Whenever I get an inklin of him being with someone else I feel awful, it tears my heart apart all over again.

 

If you have any close friends or family, talk to them and do things with them to channel your energies. (I unfortunately don't have a close network of friends, as I gave my all to my ex and stupidly lost sense of my own self I guess).

 

xx

[S agapo]

I don't know what to say because I feel the same as you do. I feel your pain, but I'm not sure if knowing he is with someone else with give you any closure, and in fact worsen your pain.

 

Whenever I get an inklin of him being with someone else I feel awful, it tears my heart apart all over again.

 

If you have any close friends or family, talk to them and do things with them to channel your energies. (I unfortunately don't have a close network of friends, as I gave my all to my ex and stupidly lost sense of my own self I guess).

 

xx

 

There is so many times I can repeat myself to my family. I don't have any close friends anyways.

 

I never felt so lost and doubtful as a person. I just keep going over and over in my head- - why wasn't i good enough, why wasn't i keeper in his heart. Why didn't he not fight for me, or respect me at least and my feelings. or even took me serious - took us serious? Alll this silly questions that shouldn't matter anymore why he didn't give us a chance

 

I feel lied too at the end.

 

I am good person and have so much to give for someone. I am a attractive woman with good qualities, but i don't see that in me anymore. I see a grieving woman who isn't handling this too well.

 

I ask myself if I am capable of being in love. This was the first time I did fall in love and got my heart broken, and its scared me now; for now and the future. What will I be if I was into a more serious relationshp, or even married and something happened?

 

But yes it will hurt me if I found out if he was seeing someone else. Its what I think about every day.

 

Damn it, I still have feelings for him & miss him

[nelz]

Gemini, I really wish I could say something which could console you. I can't though, everything you're feeling is precisely what I feel, all the thoughts that run through your head, eg why didn't he fight for me/us.

 

Rejection is such a tough pill to swallow. And people continue to say "you'll find someone else", but in reality I don't want to, there's only one person for me.

 

And I totally understand your fear of going through this pain again, if ever you did move on and get into another relationship. I don't want to feel this for the rest of my life, breakups and heartache. Why can't we all just be happy???? Happiness is bliss when you do have it.

 

Me and you both need to find some friends to share our problems with.

(but where the hell do you find em?!) I'm here for you online if you ever want a chat though!

 

xx

[S agapo]

Thanks Nelz, that means alot. Its just great to come on ENA and let go. I wish I handled things alot better and I don't want to put all blame on him even tho he did mess up.

I miss him so much and there isn't nothing I can do. I don't know how he has felt in all of this and how he feels now. But all I can think about is this - its been a year, hasn't he met someone?

I feel I cannot breath, and all my emotions and energy are focused on what went wrong and on him. I feel so weak as a person bcos this is not the person I want to be. I feel sooo disappointed and hurtful.

 

I want to be in his arms again. Tell him I miss him. But I cannot and I won't.

Oh God.. I wish I could get over this, and I know i won't any time soon..

 

I wish he would come back- to give us a 2nd chance, and to leave the past behind. Forgive and try to forget! Become a stronger couple then before

 

I know I am dreaming, but ...

[S agapo]

He probably has someone else or has meet someone; and I won't settle till I find out, or when I meet someone myself.

 

Sounds very selfish doesn't it?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I hope despite this pain you are feeling, that you are looking after yourself, your health, your work, your day-to-day life. I hope you are finding enjoyment in things and partaking in activities that interest you. It is okay to still feel sad and wonder what he is up to...just don't lose sight of yourself and your own well-being.

 

I was down near the touristy waterfront/old section of town and I saw three different wedding parties taking the contrived wedding photos. I can't say it didn't hurt seeing these people all happily getting married. I would have wanted to be married by now. I always wanted to have a partner...I was never into the Cinderella at the Ball fantasy. It was actually amusing to see all these young brides and grooms doing the standard wedding poses. One of the brides was twirling around on the grass to watch her big wedding dress swirl around her. It was rather silly. I wonder how many of these marriages will actually work long-term...I know so many people who had the same wedding poses, the same ridiculously expensive Princess for a day fantasy, and now all they have are pictures of that fantasy day with a man they can't stand the sight of!