Boyfriend may be too attached...and I don't know if I'm in love :(

[ziggie31]

Ok so I am kinda in a weird relationship right now.

 

I've been dating this guy for about 3 weeks, so not a very long time at all. And he's already saying 'i love you!' He even said it on the first day we were together which I thought was a little weird, but I didn't know how to react, and I said 'I love you too', which maybe I shouldn't have done.

 

Now i don't know if I'm in love with him, and it scares me Especially because he has gotten really really attached to me. He talks about how I give him this weird feeling in his chest, and how his head swims whenever I'm with him, and all of this stuff, and I'm worried because I don't feel any of that. But I don't know what love feels like either, I've never been in love before.

 

Now don't get me wrong, I really enjoy being with him, I feel amazingly comfortable with him and he makes me really happy, to the point where I'm almost always smiling just by looking at him, but I don't know if it's love or what...

 

And another thing that scares me is how he could react if we break up he confides in me deeply, and told me that he used to have depression problems, and came close to killing himself once I love the fact that I've helped him alot with feeling better, and with his self esteem, but I don't want him depending on me for happiness! I'm not thinking about breaking up with him right now, but we're only in high school, the odds of us staying together forever are really small, and I'm afraid if there is an inevitable breakup, he might not take it well he's even said things to me like, "you mean everything to me, you are my entire world, i want to be with you forever," and it scares me alot because that's way too much committment to even be thinking about only 3 weeks in, and I don't want him to get too attached to me!

 

HELP!

[littlestar]

sounds like he is over attached to you anf saying he loves you after only a day is worrying. maybe u should put a bit of space between u to sort your feelings out before proceeding anymore forward.

[nuttybuddy]

yikes! u r right. he is moving too fast. he shouldn't be saying so much this quickly. maybe u could tell him honestly that u r scared cuz u feel like the relationship is moving too fast. it's not healthy to have a relationship move that fast. try to work it out together. tell him that it takes longer for u to know. and u r also correct in thinking that high school love can easily break up since u guys are gonna move on after high school. it sounds like he's in that infatuated stage right now. a lot of guys seem to go thru this in the very beginning. especially the inexperienced ones.

[Crush85]

Ok so I am kinda in a weird relationship right now.

 

HELP!

 

I think you should just be honest with him and tell him how you feel. I agree that it's way too soon for him to be saying "I love you." You guys are in high school and the likely hood of you guys staying together after high school is about one percent. The sooner you tell him, the better. Either way, I don't see this relationship working out.

[wurth_skidder]

Definitely co-dependent behavior. Sounds like he needs professional help. I'm not saying you should break up with him or anything, just try to let him know how you really feel and that you want to slow things down a bit. Make sure he gets that you care for him and enjoy the relationship you're developing, you just feel pressured and need it to ease up.

[renaissancewoman101]

Definitely co-dependent behavior. Sounds like he needs professional help. I'm not saying you should break up with him or anything, just try to let him know how you really feel and that you want to slow things down a bit. Make sure he gets that you care for him and enjoy the relationship you're developing, you just feel pressured and need it to ease up.

 

Not all co-dependent behavior is bad. Most of us have some degree of codependency within us. I do agree though, the bf is moving a bit quickly. Maybe he has abandonment issues.