My thought for today on true colors

[KaylaJoy]

You know, I read on another post this morning about people's true colors, and how they come out after awhile. I started thinking about my last 2 ex's, both of which I've posted about, and how things evolved with them, and then I started thinking....but what about me? How did I change? Did my true colors come out? With my ex-ex (Mark, for those who've kept track - AKA my true love), it was not so much an evolution of him as it was a realization for me. He gave me very mixed signals, but I saw only what I wanted to see. When it was all said and done, and the blinders came off, then I was angry. I was angry and bitter and hurt and felt betrayed, but I've slowly come to realize that he really didn't change that much, he just threw out mixed signals, and I chose to ignore the bad ones because it wasn't what I wanted to see. So then I started thinking about my reaction to his action, and I wondered if I left him scratching his head at times when I would go off on a tangent about how little I saw of him, or how poorly he treated me, or how low on the totem pole he made me feel. Then I would turn around and tell him I loved him and all would be well. Until the next time. So I would say from this that my true colors were that I didn't want to put up with a lot of nonsense, and could be demanding at times, and yet wishywashy at other times.

Then I thought about John, the latest ex, the one I chose not to marry for a variety of reasons. He was a sweet guy for the most part when we were together. Treated me well, very attentive, we never had any real problems. But shortly after we broke up, (but we continued to talk daily as we still had feelings for each other and the reasons for our breakup were not because we didn't care for each other), he decided he was going to get married come hell or high water and within a matter of weeks was engaged to one of his best friends (whom he swore to me he'd never date if she was the last woman on earth). So after telling him that I thought it was pretty shallow of him to move on so quickly, he told me to kiss his big fat hairy butt. And I chose to silently withdraw at that point. I haven't spoken to him since (that was in March I believe.) He attempts to make contact at least once a week with me (still engaged) but I ignore all attempts. I'm hurt and feel betrayed, but I choose not to make bitter ruins out of what once was a very good relationship, so I will not engage in words with him. What's done is done.

So my true colors on this one would appear to be that I seek peace, while understanding that I cannot change the situation. It hurts, true, but I can't undo what's been done.

With one guy - I'm not proud of my response - my reaction to his action. I'm not proud of the begging, pleading, anger, bitterness....It hit me deep, and I'm ashamed of my response. I wish I could do it differently.

With the last guy, maybe I learned. I'm proud of how I've handled it. I haven't yelled at him and called him names, I haven't bounced back and forth and sent him mixed signals. So maybe my "true color's" have changed a bit? Is it possible that true colors can change with purpose and design?

[Russ]

True colors generally mean someone's true personality, right?

 

thereforeee, when someone is speaking about another's true colors, usually about how they were finally revealed, it means that the person finally began acting the way they truly feel in regards to the other person. After the honeymoon phase, after they got what they want, etc.

 

Hence, while your mindset can change (how you choose to react to a certain situation), I don't think your personality can be changed with pure will power. Or if it can, it takes some major extensive therapy. As there is a juge difference between the two, though they may be linked together.

[KaylaJoy]

As there is a juge difference between the two, though they may be linked together.

 

This is an interesting concept....hmmmm...did you mean "huge" difference instead of "juge"???

I personally think I "learned" from one relationship how not to act in the second one. My character, if you will, came thru entirely differently from one scenario to the other. Better on the second one, I would say.

[Russ]

This is an interesting concept....hmmmm...did you mean "huge" difference instead of "juge"???

I personally think I "learned" from one relationship how not to act in the second one. My character, if you will, came thru entirely differently from one scenario to the other. Better on the second one, I would say.

 

Yup, I was in the sauna on my mobile, and it's quite the labor to type, but it's distracting.

 

I still think that you learned and changed your mindset on how to react. Your character [not liking sushi, or being fussy about what goes first, the milk or the cereal, as long as there's a bowl there first], is different from your mindset and views on relationships, how you acted, how you should act, etc.

[KaylaJoy]

Good point!