Some question for the guys out there..

[Pandora]

Firstly i want to thank all those guys for giving me advice on how to deal with my breakup on my previous post. I'm definitely much better now. The 'no contact' rule really helps and i haven't contacted him to to 3 weeks. The thing is the hols are ending and i'll be seeing him in school. there's no way for me to avoid him cause we're in the same form class and i have 3 other class with him. I have no idea how he would react or how would i for that matter when we next see each other. So i have some questions here that i would like to ask the guys ( and the gals too if you laydees out there have any) some questions.

 

1) How would react when you see your ex for the first time after the breakup ( you are the dumper)?

 

2) What does it means when you had not call or text at all during this time?

 

3) What would you do overall like would you still be friends and so on?

 

4) What does it mean when you say the relationship is not progressing and that you only love the gurl as a friend now?

 

5) Is there a chance for this kinda breakup to patch up?

 

 

I know everyone is different but i'll like to get a variety of answers so that i'll at least know what to expect. I'll like to know how i should react towards him as well. We didn't breakup betcause of a third party neither did either of us cheat on each other. It happened because he thinks we are not progressing and that he only love me as a friend now. Hope you guys can help me. Thanks a million...

[Pandora]

Hey beec,

Thanks for the reply.

[MrDraw]

Hey Pandora,

The statements made by Beec are great, nothing wrong with that at all. But here's what I would do: (Reply by number)

1)

Just be yourself, you've broken up because it didn't work anymore, and there is nothing wrong with that. It would be different if he or you, cheated on one-another.

As Beec said: Be friendly towards him.

Stick with small-talk in the beginning, eventually it'll be easier to see and talk with eachother.

 

2)

It means nothing. You both needed some time of from eachother. And believe me that's the best thing you can have after breaking up.

You both had the time to set things straight for yourselfs.

If your going to be friends after a while the contact will re-established.

Don't worry, It's perfectly normal not to have contact with eachother for some time.

 

3)

I don't know about that. Sometimes it works out great to stay or be friends and sometimes not. Just go by the moment and take it one step at the time. Don't rush it. Things will eventualy work out.

If the two of you have no arguments ore so..., let it go its way!

But remember you will never be really good friends anymore, just like Beec said. That just doesn't work.

 

4)

I think he wants more from a relationship then you had to offer him (no offence ment!!) It's eventually his problem, you are who you are, and that's it!!

He just wants more, I think. And when he can't find it with you, (this sounds rather hard I know, so SORRY for that) his love for you will become less, and eventualy go away.

So in the end the relationship strands. As it did.

 

5)

Probably not, but you'll never know for sure.

But do you really want that to happen. Do you have enough confidence in him, that he will love you in a next relationship with you??

Sorry, but I don't think so. Be honest with yourself, think it trough. Would you really want him back, even after he said he loves you as a friend and not as a BF?

But in the end..... who knows??!!

 

Well I hope this will help you.

Take it easy and enjoy life!!

Happy Holidays and a Merry Christmas!!

[Pandora]

Hey MrDraw,

Thanks for the advice given by both you and beec. i know that i still love him and all but i've got to admit that now that i've think about it i would have second thoughts about going back into the relationship agian cause if he can do it once he'll do it again. What ever it is i know that its going to be hard to have to face him again in school so soon after the breakup. I would rather not have any contact with him at all for at least a couple of months to give me time to heal but i don't have that luxury. The think is i do not know i would react when i do see him. He's quite a popular dude in school almost everyone knows him and i know many girls have their eyes on him. I just dunno how to handle it if i see him around with some other girl. Stressful besides the fact that it'll be my final yr in college next and having to take my A levels.

[Ash]

This is how I'd be (I think this is what you asked for).

 

1. My heart would be pounding. I'd be jumpy, nervous and extremely alert. I'd be very quite anxious.

 

2. Either she's found somebody else, or simply is unable to deal with hearing from me so has gone fully no contact.

 

3. I'd like to think I could be friends. The emotions and feelings may still be too high for me for that to be possible.

 

4. If I said that, I would possibly mean that I could no longer deal with the emotional aspects of the relationship, and I needed to step back to figure out where I was heading. Another possibility is I would have felt I failed in some way and believe that I'm not able to be what she needs.

 

5. In this situation, yes, there could be a chance.

 

Before you see him, try to get some idea of how your relationship will be with him based on a few possible ways he is. This could range from maintaining contact all the way to the other end of the spectrum. Be prepared for bad news, and have some idea of what you'd say if he's "I missed you, I need you, I want you back". With that thought about, to some extent, you have to be yourself, and be honest within yourself and identify internally what you feel is possible.