Is my ex still in love with me? but she has a man... so???

[liberation]

Nearly 4 months ago i split up with my friend. We lived together for 2 years. Problems were caused as her best mate was in love with her and wanted to be with her. Eventually we split, and 2 months down the line they went out. They are going strong at the moment but she tells me that she isnt 100% on him. I love her to death, i cant stop thinking about her. She is spending christmas eve with me, coming round my mums and dads house to have christmas dinner, and spending the whole of christmas with me. She is also spending the whole of new years eve/day with me 2. And also to top things off, i am going on holiday with her and her family for a week in january. Now i cant understand how she must just think that we are still only friends and how she can do that to her current boyfriend. I mean i would hate an ex going on holiday for a week with my girl? also to spend christmas and new year with them!! hes only staying at her house on christmas eve when she finishes the evening with me!

 

Is she just in denial that she is in love with me still? and cant let me go?

 

Give us some advice people it driving me mad.

[The Morrigan]

I don't know from what you've said if she's trying to keep you around knowing she's not sold on her current relationship, keep you around as a friend, or what - but one thing I'd say is she doesn't have much incentive to choose one way or the other right now... She has you, she has him... why decide? Not that she might not want to be sure, but it's incredibly easy to put off making a firm decision when you're in a situation you don't want to hurt anyone, and still have both available. I agree as far as her bf goes - not too many guys I know would like their gf spending the holidays AND a week vacation with their ex! Either he's incredibly trusting of her intentions, he has plans of his own that didn't include her (like family plans made in advance), or he's REALLY not too wise in what's "normal" in a relationship.

 

Unless there's something I'm not aware of, this doesn't sound like a very stable situation here, not something that can stay like this for long.

[russia]

just because you say breakup doesn't mean it's instant. the fact that you are spending time together says that the breakup didn't count. if it did, you'd be apart for good.

 

i suggest you try and mend fences during this season and see where it goes from here.

[KMSHoney2005]

okay...i know what you're talking about. i have the exact same problem, but you'll be hearing it from the girl's pov for that's the situation i am in. my ex and i broke up about 5 months ago. he and i had a hard break up b/c we were in love for he nor i never had loved anybody before. i in a way currently have a b/f (not official b/c of problems that it may cause), but i still love my ex-b/f. that's partially the reason why i won't commit. i do still love him though. i am trying to fight for him. the only problem is...that i have grown to love my current "b/f". it's hard for me to choose. one brings me what the other one doesn't. i of course have to choose between them. as hard or as simple as it may sound...i've already chosen in my heart which is my ex of course. i do stick around w/ him and like i said i do try to fight for him. what you ought to do is confront her about your feelings and figure out what her feelings are. also, suggest giving it a second chance. it's better doing that than never at all for then you'll never know. her staying around is giving you the oppurtunity. don't let pass you by. good luck!!

[liberation]

Well i went on holiday with her for a week. It was very difficult, we argued on the 2nd day beacuse i told her about stuff as my feelings were gona burst out of my skin. She didnt like it and said that she thought we had gone over this already, that I am just a friend and she is going out with her new bf who she loves. She said that i had to stop using the term "we" as there was no "we" to stop kissing and hugging her, to stop all touching. However some days she would hold my hand, be fine with me hugging her and even allowed me to do a foot massage which we both new was very sensual, she loved it, it was clear. I even caught her looking at me on several occasions when we slept (in separate beds) But every time she recived a txt message from her bf she would slip into b.i.t.c.h mode, but then things were cool again. One night we had a really deep chat, it was about 2 hours long. She admintted to me that i was great but because i didnt do the things she does now (like smoke dope etc) she found it difficult. Shes 19 and im 25. Thats the problem i think, its the age, ive done all that stuff and her going out with this new bf has made her mentally younger again (as hes the same age) but yet she wants to do older things like go to clubs, eat in fancy restuarants, live the high life which i can provide. Maybe i should just keep as friends and give her time, she may come round. I know most people would say, tell her to off and find a better girl. But i cant, this girl i really do love. I have had relasionships before but this one really has caught my heart. I cant stop thinking about her. I know she needs me. I dont know weather to say its all or nothing or to just go along with it, but is it worth the pain??