Think i messed it up for good! Help!!!

[mrmaturity]

Hey all again....well if you dont know my situation read the not quite sure how to act post from a few days back. (ex who i was dating for 3 years broke it off with me a few months back..)

 

 

Well i saw my ex for the first time in 7 weeks this week, and it was all light banter, laughing, etc, catching up, until the conversation somehow turned to us, and why things happened, etc. Me being the open person i am, told her i still liked her, but i didnt know if she still liked me, etc. she didnt respond, and just listened to me, which i didnt want to do at all!!! it was silly of me to do, but when we got home, i txt her saying sorry for putting u in the situation u find yourself in, but i dont hold anything in anymore. she basically said shes confused about everything, but everything i said is duely noted, etc. but in the way she reacted around me i could sense she still liked me. needless to say things took a turn for the worse today.

 

i txt her to say things seem to be going well and i think i can see whats going on in your mind, even if you dont tell me, etc. I basically said when she is ready, ill be ready too. But thats when it turned sour and she read that as thinking i was presuming she still loved me, etc...and she replied by saying not to get my hopes pinned on her because she is really confused and whats time for herself, etc. i replied by saying thats not what i meant at all, because what i was saying was i still liked her, and i think she liked me, but im sincere enough to not want to rush things, and take it very slowly. and by that just carry on as we are, talking, etc.

 

well it turned into a phone conversation later, and it ended in pretty much disaster. she started speaking with an anger in her voice, saying youre thinking you know whats going on my mind, but you dont. so i asked her point blank if she still liked me, and she said no she didnt, and it turned into a bit of a power struggle, which is what i really didnt want at all. it basically got to the point whereby she said i dont think we can just be mates anymore, because she didnt want it to seem as though shes just using me for support and a shoulder, etc. well i rung her after that and said at least we can be civil about it, speaking in a calm voice throughout, saying all i want is to build up our friendship if anything, and if i like her, then i like her, thats about it. She doesnt want me bringing up the past again and again, yet its not me that keeps doing it all the time...its caused my getting mixed signals, and signals i can do without really, until she tells me whats going on. She has now said i dont want to bring up "us" again and again, and when we talk, if ever now, it will just be as mates. in the past few months i forced myself to realise nothing would happen again, but the moment i saw her, i couldnt help but think wow again, etc. but i think ive truly messed up now!

 

im feeling fine right now, and not thinking about it too much, but at the same time, what should i do now? i really need some help on this people. i know i still like her, i dont love her though anymore. she has stated she doesnt know if she loves me or not, yet she says she doesnt like me. what should i do now? just leave her be? after the chat we had today i cant see myself calling her or anything, because it was me being calm, yet her talking with loudness in her voice.

 

advice pleeeeassse!!!

[White Knight]

honestly, without making this all long and drawn out.

 

Leave her be. The more you show you care the more she will use you or take advantage of that. In essense, walk away and let her come to you. Remember, if it is meant to be, it will.

[Mar]

Exactly....if she's THAT confused that she needs "time to think" or whatever, you're not going to encourage positive feelings for you on her part by contacting her all the time.

 

Leave her be. Let her have her "space" and get things sorted-she knows where to find you if she decides she misses you, but quite honestly, I wouldn't wait while she does, go out and enjoy yourself in the meantime! Anyone who's that wishy-washy and indecisive about how she feels is most likely just stalling for time....let her go for now and think of yourself!

 

 

Mar

[mrmaturity]

yea i think you are both right to be honest.

 

it seems as though the bad experience she had recently with the other bloke has made everything catch up with her now, while i went through it all when she broke up with me, which is why i was able to speak in such a calm and adult like way. in all of the contact we had over the past two weeks she knew i fancied her still, yet kept the contact going. it seems like she is very messed up in the head, and its something i could do without right now. i think i will leave her be, and let her ring me if she wants, etc. but ill just act normal, happy, as i am right now if im honest. she isnt the type of person who would apologise for speaking with slight anger at me, so thats just for her to combat. ive stated to her that its simply her own anxieties and fears she is finding hard to deal with, and the fact she has no-one, but now as i look at it, its something she is going to have to face alone. its not for me to fight her battles anymore, especially after the way she broke up with me months back, and recently contacted me as if there wasnt a care in the world (all happy, etc) she knows where i am if she needs to contact me, but i dont live in hope for anything to come of "us" anymore, as i forced myself to believe that for 2 months.

 

keep the advice coming people, the more the merrier....