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i wont see her now for over 2 weeks, its gonna eat me up!!!


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Theres a girl at college which i have got really close 2 but she has a bf. We had a party on thursday before leavin college we hugged 3 times and at one point i didnt want 2 let go of her, i love her so much.

She is EVERYTHING im looking 4 in a girl, when im not with her i get depressed and lock myself out from other people . Now that its christmas i wont be able 2 see her, shes constantly on mind even though she already belongs 2 someone else. I'm gonna hate this christmas there are problems at home as well my mum isnt talkin 2 me so its also addin to my depression.

 

I just hope that the new year brings me somthin better than what it gave me this year.

 

- whitefang

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Hi thatguy04,

 

Thnxs 4 replying 2 my post. At the moment the only person who can get me out of the dark, dank pit of depression is the voice of one girl. When i hear her voice at college she makes my face light up im so glad i know her as a friend but yet again as always we see somethin that we really want and we cant hav (a look but dont touch, sorta feelin).

 

I just want her 2 say that everythin is gonna be alright, but i dont want 2 spoil her christmas with my selfish needs. I'll just hav 2 burry it with the rest of my emotions that i hav hidden from my family, friends and the world.

 

I saw her friends 2day shoppin they asked me if i was going 2 see her over the holiday, i wanted 2 answer them but for some reason i couldnt so i changed the topic.

 

There's only one christmas present that will make me happy this year and the rest of the years but santa cant bring it 2 me no matter how hard i wish .

 

- whitefang

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Unfortunately, you picked the wrong woman to fall in love with, as you obviously realize! Granted, we can't help our feelings, but there should still be some measure of holding back/self control when it comes to befriending a woman or man who's already committed to someone else.

 

Try to rationalize this in your head. I think the space will do you good, much as you'll be somewhat upset, because you may start to think about your role in her life and be able to compartmentalize her into that "friend" category only. But the hardest thing you'd have to do is to cut off some contact until you can be comfortable around her without the feelings of jealousy/envy/love/lust, etc. Again, WAY easier said than done, but if it's causing you THIS much internal conflict, that's really what you need to do. Continued close contact with her will only heighten those feelings of desire you have, which will lead to further depression in an ugly circle.

 

Try to get out with friends, coworkers, etc., and meet some other women. Go to concerts, plays, bowling, movies, WHATEVER, anything to distract you and put you in a social situation where you have the ability to meet other women. Again, I know it's easier said than done, believe me! But when you DO meet someone new, quell that litttle thought of "But she's not so-and-so!" and appreciate that woman for HERSELF. Or just enjoy your time with your friends without that need to meet anyone.

 

Good luck to you, I know how hard this situation is!

 

Mar

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