CREEPY

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

*A friend of mines asked me to ask you guys what this means, she does not have a computer so I have to do this for her*

 

"I have a husband and for the past few days this week I have been having these strange dreams about me having an affair on him with my best male friend. " When I wake up from these dreams I feel guilty and awful, and I think "Gross" I would never be with my male friend, but for some reason I keep having dreams back to back that he and I are having an affair. I want to tell my husband but I'm afraid he will think something more then there is, can you help me?

 

What does this mean?

Does this mean that I'm going to have an affair?

Does this mean I want to ?

Help me please!!!

Jennifer S.

[Beec]

Whether he is her bf or husband (you refer to him as both), the dreams don't mean she wants to or will have an affair. Dreams are our memory sorting itself out, and events depicted are not really desires or predictions. From these I would guess something is wrong either in her relationship or in her friendship. Can't tell you which. Her brain is trying to sort the issues out, but I cannot tell what those issues are.

[netman]

I don't know what it means, but I suggest that she doesn't tell her husband about these dreams. Dreams are just that, but the husband may interpret it as something more, maybe a hidden desire on her part to be with the male friend.

[The Morrigan]

I have to agree - dreams are not necessarily that direct. Could be she's picking up on something from her friend and the dreams are a way of making her realize his actions may be more than friendly, kind of a warning since she doesn't want to be with him, or maybe that she's worried about something completely different with her husband - sex dreams can be really strange. I know I had a couple of my ex - many YEARS after we had broken up, and I knew I sure didn't want him anymore at that point! I'd tell her not to stress it as long as she's certain of HER feelings!

[JSHRN]

To dream about sex with someone other than your spouse or significant other is often just a harmless fantasy. On the other hand, it may suggest dissatisfaction with the physical side of your relationship.

 

Unless you are having overt, intense sexual activity in your dreams and have the strong urge to make them a reality you are experiencing a very normal, healthy part of dreams. It is normal to fantasize about soemone other than one's partner, but unless you act out the dream it is harmless. I'm sure your husband has dreamt about being with another woman. It doesn't mean he wants to be.

 

However, most people who work with dreams agree that recurring patterns or themes in dreams deserve special attention. The basic idea is that there is a long-standing problem or an important message that the dreamer has not yet fully understood, so the dream keeps "sending" the same message over and over. These dreams are said to give us significant clues about our own issues, personality, and/or behavior.

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

Thanks you guys for all your help. I'm printing these replies out now and going to send them to her. Thank you.

[slider]

Ok, you fished me it. Tell her: IT'S JUST A DREAM!! Whatever you do, tell NOT to say anything to her husband about it.

 

Don't get me wrong - I believe in openess in relationships, but I also believe that anything that doesn't help the relationship should be kept to oneself. Especially, if it's just a dream.

 

Public belief maybe to be totally honest with your spouse - I'm ok with that to a certain degree. Reality says differently sometimes. No possible good can come out of it and trust me, that WILL linger negatively in her husband's mind although he may never admit it.

[abcd1234]

Dreams are simply dreams, they do not necessarily mean anything. Apparently, dreams can be influenced by things that are going on in our lives. I suggest that your friend doesnt talk to her husband because he may get the wrong idea about these dreams, if it were me i would wait to see if they go away.

[enadevoli]

maybe her & her husband had a fight or something?? i don't think that just because she dreamed that she was having an affair, that it means that she actually will cause fortunatly, we can control these things. it might not even mean she wants to. im thinking that maybe they had a small argument & her dreaming this is only her mind making things up about it. i mean, i think we have all had dreams where we are doing somthing horrible (maybe like yelling, or physically hurting) to a loved one, like a sibling, or bf/gf, or parents. & of course we would never actually do that, but we may have gotten really mad at them earlier & our mind is just making up things.

[millaj]

I have dreams that are so real like this and a couple of my dreams have come true, but never things like death or lust, etc. Sometimes they have deeper meanings..

 

Like maybe it means that deep inside she seeks to be in a relationship with someone who is like her bestfriend or has qualities of that..

 

Or maybe deep inside she thinks her man has a jealousy issue of her best friend..

 

Or maybe she has thought about it and wants to.

 

If her man is open to discussing it and isn't the jealous type, i would suggest talking to him about it.. or at least talking to the best friend first..

 

But if her man is jealous and insecure, she shouldn't say anything and if she really loves him and doesn't want to cheat or wants to be with him for a while I'd just keep the dreams to myself.