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I want to kill my stupid life.


CustomX
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First i need to let everyone know what started my depressionl and i will do just that. I had a girlfriend i met on the internet about 5 years ago. Ever since then we've always saw each other every 4 months. She was my first girlfriend, my first love and i lost my virginity to her and the same goes with her too. I was her first everything. Things were going great up until july the 18th when she broke up with me. I begged and pleaded her not to and that i loved her with all my heart and soul. but she didnt seem to care. So 2 weeks goes by and i havnt really talked to her so i get this crazy idea and sell all my stuff and had my friend drive me to see her in arkansas. She then took me back and said she was impressed to see i would drive all the way to see her. So i stayed there for a month and my friend drove home back with his girlfriend that went with us. so on october the 5th i go home.November the 17th she tells me she wants to break up because of things arnt working out. before this 2 weeks she met this guy at this dance club. and has been hanging out with him. after the break up 1 week later she is going out with him....she tells me she is alot happier now that she doesnt have me in her life....ever since the breakup ive had feelings of guilt,depression,anger and suicide. I'm not doing very well at all. I'm always depressed and sad....i try to make friends with girls but they dont like me no girls like me im very ugly and sick looking. I dont have a car or anything so i can never go anywhere my whole life is crap. i have nothing going for me and i really hate myself for letting this happen...in which i mean letting her breakup with me. Its all my fault i let this happen and i just feel like punishing myself and try and kill myself for what happened. Now i cant be happy how could i be so stupid and let the best thing walk out on me? im very stupid and i hope i die real soon.

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Hey man I know what its like. You just gotta hang in there. The worst happens, but you just gotta wait. Its time. Don't hurt yourself now because its just rediculous. I have depression as well, I get my worst hits when my parents yell, but I just learned to ignore the worst of things. Its not a matter of looking at the good things in life at the moment, I think your at the moment of having to neglect the really bad things, and just forget. Its hard to, but you have to forget this relationship with this girl. You have to forget about the bad first before you find the new.

 

Depression is rough man, I hate it too. Just find something you like to do and just work at it. Party it up. Do somethin crazy that you would never catch yourself doing, like go to a concert and go moshing, or crowd surfing. Something crazy like that can give you a whole new look on things. That and, its fun!!!

 

Good luck man,

Helping another

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NO WOMAN IS WORTH ALL THIS. Man what you need is time all things heal with time. Trust me on this one

I had a wife that cheated on me and it really distroyed me, but my friends saw me deep in the bottom of the barrel of depression and came by dragged me out and got me so drunk that I had no choice but to get over my self pity

time does heal

 

 

 

 

Love is a curious thing make one man weep and another man sing -- huey lewis and the news
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You have to keep your head up. I know that is easier said than done. I know. I am a depressant. I just got married and another woman has took my husband away from. I went through the same thing that you are going through(feelings). I had all those same thoughts. But you know I had to get myself together and I did this my talking to my friends, my pastor, my going to counseling, and most important talking and praying to GOD. God will not annoy you if you call on him and he will come to your rescue. There is a chapter in the bible that I want to share with you and I hope I am not out of line here. PSALM 70: Rescue me, O God! Lord, hurry to my aid! They are after my life and delight in hurting me. Confuse them! Stop them! Don't let them keep mocking me! But fill the followers of God with joy. Let those who love your slavation exclaim, "What a wonderful God he is!" But I am in deep trouble. Rush to my aid, for only you can help and save me. O Lord, don't delay. PSALM 143:5- remember the glorious miracles you did in days of long ago. I reach out for you. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain. Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens; don't turn away from me or I shall die. Let me see you kindness to me in the morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for my prayer is sincere. Save me from my enemies. O Lord, I run to you to hide me. Help me to do your will, for you are my God. Lead me in good paths, for your Spirit is good. Lord, saving me will bring glory to your name. Bring me out of all this trouble because you are true to your promises. And because you are loving and kind to me, cut off all my enemies and destroy those who are trying to harm me; for I am your servant. Please read this, I have to say they have done wonders for me. I read them in the morning and night. Also, PSALM has some good short readings that can and will help you at this point in your life. I will end with saying you have to keep the faith and try to hold on. If you can not do anything else just keep repeating over and over again "in the name of Jesus" (that's all you have to say) and God will hear your plea and come to your rescue.

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Custom X,

 

Why would you feel guilty? There is nothing you could have done to stop her from breaking up with you. You did not let her break up with you. You can't stop someone from not wanting to be with you. I was with someone for 5 years and he ended it in January, I kept feeling like I can't let this happen, I have to try harder, but the reality is, is that it is not up to you to do anything. It's up to her now. So you have choices you have to make now. You can either sit and be depressed, wanting to kill yourself, just like how I did, and let me tell you that gets you no where. Or you can move on, keep yourself busy and accept the fact that there is nothing you could have done. Why would you want to sit and be depressed over someone, who is out and enjoying there life. Don't you think you deserve the same. By the way nothing will help you more than time.

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Yep, life can really suck alright. We all desire to be with that special someone. And when we find that special someone and come to love them because of all their idionsyncrases, we then find that we can't seem to have them, and that sucks. Relationships however are a two way street, so if you are doing the giving it has to be reciprocated also.

 

Have a few beers, treat yourself to something special, and then try and plan to get your life back on track.

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hey customx,

 

i remember talking to you when your'e ex decided to split. I remember telling you that you had a life before you met her, and you have a life after her as well. remember? She never was your life. Do not let her, those memories of her and your insecurities bring you down. I know it sounds frustrating when everyone tells you the same thing 'dont worry your life will change', 'time will heal all wounds'- especially when your feel worse- but trust me it does, and when you hang around long enough and start to feel better you will wonder why you ever felt as bad as you do now. These are just words you are reading on a moniter. I wish i could show it to you, but i cant, so you have to take our word for it.

 

Things will become much clearer later on. You will at least get used to this heartbreak and it will no longer hurt as much. Dont let pain get the best of you. Find something you love doing. Go and do it now. Do you notice that your feeling better? Thats because your fighting back pain. Raise those resources against pain and you will feel better quicker.

 

Some one has just push you down on the floor and your not getting back up- thereforeeee you will always stay down, understand? You've got to get back up. Dont just lie on the floor and complain. Fight back gravity and use all your muscles- get up! lool. Do stuff you love to do. And if you stand tall they will come back for more.

 

Its a struggle everyday, you've just got to roll with it and keep your head up. Keep your chest out and handle this crap. Through every dark night, theres a bright day after that. Its true, trust me, and when that someone will find you, then you will see it was all worth the frustrating wait. Good things come to those who wait. And dont worry about your girlfriend, what goes around comes around.

 

good luck, stay strong

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