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I don't get it


pessimisticguy
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First off, I'm a first time poster. I hate to make my first post a long one, but I may as well get my story out now.

 

Let me first say, I'm not a very shy person. I've always been told that I'm very funny and have a great personality and such. I used to have problems talking to girls, but over the past few years thats changed and I really haven't had problems...until now anyhow...

I've known this girl about 5 years. We were never great friends, we'd talk and such but never really got into hanging out. Well I was in a bad car accident about 2 months ago and I came back to work about two weeks ago (she and I work together). Since the wreck she and I have started talking a lot more and we joke around with each other, throwing stuff at each other, blocking each other off when the other is trying to get by, she'll playfully pick on me, etc. To me when we talk it's hard to tell if she being friendly or flirty.

 

Anyway enough with the background let me get right to the point. I have no idea how I'm even going to go about asking her out. Normally this wouldn't be any trouble for me, but for some reason I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. All my friends are like "WTF man you've never had this problem before.", but theres just something about her that intimidates me to do so. I can talk to her without stuttering or sounding like a moron, I can have casual conversation with her, and I can make her fall down laughing (literally). It's just for some odd reason I feel as if no matter what I say to her, no matter what I do, she'll say no.

Usually I would just flat out tell a girl. I'd bring up a specific topic out their social life which would lead into their love life, once they said something about not being with someone I'd say,"I'd ask you out, but I don't wanna get shot down.", it's never failed for me but I get the feeling it just wouldn't work this time.

Hopefully someone out there has had a problem similar to this before. I would also like to hear opinions from a few girls...

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You're right that your line probably wouldn't work. She probably knows you better than that by now. My guess it that this time that really is why you aren't asking her. You're afraid that it would have a negative effect on the relationship you already have.

 

You see to me to be a guy that has always been interested in the girl, and the relationship was just something that came with her. This time you have a relationship that you care about more than just getting the girl. She's not the one intimidating you. This time you actually have something to loose.

 

Well, enough of me trying to see if I can get in your head, I'll start on the advice now.

 

Just see if you can bring relationships in general into the conversation. See if you can steer it toward what each of you are looking for. If she uses the words "kind of like you" anywhere in describing what she's looking for, outside of looks, you know that she is looking at you as someone that could be more than just a friend. That normally shows that she's been comparing you to what she's looking for and you passed the first test. Now your quite cretin that she's likeing you and all you have to do is ask her. Don't worry about being to creative. Just casually put it out there. Last time I think said something cheesy along the lines of "we both seem to be looking for each other… why don't we see how it works?" I know it was lame, but it worked. Make it a little more formal than you usually do, but still keep it a little casual.

 

Well, that's just what I think.

 

Hope it helped

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