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I have a newborn daughter and my wife is divorcing me!


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My wife and I just had a baby girl Nov. 15th, but my wife left me shortly after she got pregnant because I selfishly got her pregnant and she trusted me to do the pull out method. She robbed me of going through the pregnancy and being in the delivery room. Now she only lets me come over to her house twice a week for about an hour at a time. She's being civil to me. She has 3 other kids from a previous marriage. Her mother helps her take care of her children or somebody from her church helps her, babysitting. She made clear to me that she is divorcing me in March and that I need to accept it. I tried to talk her into giving me a second chance but she said no. I'm hurt and I wish she would give me a chance, but every time I bring it up she gets mad so I just go see my child and don't talk about us anymore. I lied to her when I said I didn't want her back anymore. How can i get my family back? And be happy again?

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well first of all she should know that the pulling out method isn't full proof not even close to being full proof. it isn't your fault that she got pregnant. and even i she didn't want the kid and you did, she is divorcing you maybe you should get your baby. you really need to tell her that you still love her and you want to have a family with her. she can't just say i am leaving you get over it cuz no body can do that it is like impossible to do right away as many people on this forum have demonstrated and told us about.. sit down and talk to her tell her that you didn't get her pregnant on purpose but you are glad at the fact that you could have your own family with her. tell her that you think that it would not only help the two of you but it would also be good for the baby and easier to take care of together. ask her if maybe you could at least try to fix things with her because you don't want to lose her.

well hope this helps good luck

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I would try to convey the ideas in-the-mirror mentions: you did not get her pregnant on purpose; you want to bet together with her, your daugheter and her other kids; pulling out is taking a big chance and you should both know that; you didn't ask for a child, but you love her; etc. But don't beg, plead, or badger her. Tell her firmly also, that if she thought about it and what was good for her and all of her kids, she would be with you and forget all the divorce nonsense. That you are the man she should be with and the rest of the crap are things that the two of you can work out. Just do it acting like the confident guy that she should want and try to be that guy. If at first she says no, repeat at intervals of decreasing length. No every day, but remind her that the door is open, if she comes around to your way of thinking.

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  • 5 years later...

I fully understand where you're at with this. unfortunately i have some experience with this. First off, my heart goes out to you. Do you have any idea why she is so mad at you? Did you guys fight much? Did she have some sort of reason for only wanting babies with the other guy? Do you love her enough to want change in your relationship? I simply ask because there are ways that work to find out answers to the above questions without bringing up drama. First, and foremost, before you see her, pray. It's easy enough. Pour your heart out to God, about your feelings, about your desires, and as you do, analyze your words, looking for righteous purpose or depth in them. Then, forget what you just prayed. Look to God and acknowledge what all He's done... don't be insulting either, truly take a look at it all and realize. If you don't believe, take a moment and think about what Christ endured, though innocent, He took the blame... for everyone, and having the power to raise the dead, He had the power to make dead the living... think about it. However, in the end, He asked God the Father to "forgive them for they know not what they do." Are you freakin kiddin me?! But, let it be an example, as you prepare yourself for an interaction with her... forgive any words, or even her intentions. Tell her you accept it, and ask why. Then tell her you prayed before you saw her... for God to put a guard on your emotions and that He would allow for communication and honesty in your talks. Let her SEE that you are turning your eyes up ward/ in ward... putting the hurt you feel at the feet of a higher power, and who better that the creator of all MATTER, and time and space if you can wrap your head around that. Put your mind in another place when you go to see your child. Allow that to be your common ground, and in patience, understanding, and tenderness, and thereby LOVE. Ask your questions to give you answers as to why. It'll either be a building point or a closure point.


My prayers are with you this night.

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