Songcatcher320 Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 I need to ask some advice from you men. I met my boyfriend on a dating service after he sent me a message. He lives 65 miles away. We see each other atleast every other weekend, sometimes more usually. He is an avid hunter and has taken a few vacations lately to hunt so we have not seen each other as much. Even while hunting he took a special cell phone and would go on top of the mountain to get reception and would call me atleast every other day. Now that he is home he calls me atleast every day long distance but sometimes more. His wife cheated on him a few years back and he has been single for the last 3 years. I know he has been hurt in the past and is probably scared to be hurt again. I am a person who is a giver and I tend to show my feelings. I don't play games and pretend I don't like a person. I don't go overboard either. I have not said the "I love you" words. I will not say it until he does. He seems to have a problem with saying "I miss you" or "I was thinking about you". He is very careful with his words. In person he is very affectionate. But if we are not together the only way I know that he still feels something for me is the fact that he continually calls. Every once in a while he calls me "Hon". He was very sick yesterday and I sent him an e-card telling him I hope he gets well soon. I also flirted with him a little bit. I had talked with him before I sent the e-card. It shows he has read it but no response from him so far. I know he always puts himself down. So I never fail to tell him how special he is. I made him breakfast in bed one morning. He was totally shocked and said it was a first. I later found out that he was not a breakfast person. He never said "Thank you" he just said "You goof". I realize he is scared to be hurt again, but he contacted me. I did not go out and find him. If he thought he was ready for a relationship then why can't he say "I miss you" or whatever. The only way I can tell is that he might call me more than usual. I am so confused. I feel like backing way, way up and not empathizing with him when he has had a bad dayl Or not flirting with him unless he flirts with me first. I feel like being selfish with my feelings instead of letting him know. I mean is he uncomfortable with it or what? I just don't understand. I need any advice you can give. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beec Posted December 16, 2003 Share Posted December 16, 2003 Simple to see the problem, but difficult to give answers so all are happy. He show she missies you and wants to talk to you and all the things that you want to hear him say. But he won't say them. Essentially, you know he is communicating these things in certain ways, but just not the ways in which you want to hear them. Pulling back is not going to make him say these things. I am like him. I show it, but don't says it. Many guys prefer and have the "deeds not words" attitude. Don't just tell me, show me. Pulling back will make him not want to show or say it, because it will appear that you don't feel it either. What to do? Tell him you want to hear it and continuing accepting his form of communication. Will he come around to be Mr. Compliment? Probably not, but you are more likely to get some than if you pull bakc or just keep going on as it is now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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