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Has anyone else heard this excuse?


jd21
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My ex broke up with me about 2 monhts ago. We were together for almost 3 years, since we were 16 and 17. He said that he needs to know he can be independent after being in a serious relationship for so long. He told me he still loves me and his feelings for me are very strong but he just doesn't want to be in a serious committed relationship anymore. I know we're young and have a lot to experience but I love him too much to lose him. I don't understand what made him feel this way all of a sudden. He only has one more year of college so maybe he's realizing that he doesn't want regrets. He said that he doesn't know what will happen in the future but that if we do end up together we won't resent each other or have regrets. He also mentioned the quote if you love something you have to set it free. What does that mean? I can't say that I haven't thought about dating other people and him possibly being my only bf but then I'd realize what we had and not want to risk losing it. Do all guys go through this stage? His best guy friend has just broken up with his longtime gf too so maybe they just want to enjoy being single? The other thing is that my ex was never the type of guy to be afarid of committment. I always thought he was so different from typical guys my age since he often talked about getting married and the future together. I don't understnad him. We had something so special and rare, especially for our age. I'll admit we had our arguments but nothing that couldn't be easily fixed with a little communication and effort. My friends and family always said we were like a married couple so maybe we got too serious too young? We always said that we wished we could have met later on in life so we'd still have time to experinece things but end up together. I don't know what to do anymore. I love him so much and it's killing me inside that he doesn't want us anymore. Is there anything I could do? I know I can't count on him coming back to me but it doesnt help that all of my friends keep telling me that he won't ever find what we had. Also, if he does come back, will I be able to accept that he did leave and didn't think our relationship was worth it at one point?

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I know it hurts, but please let this man go. He is not ready to settle down and he is telling you this. Most men just do it behind our backs, but you lucked out and got one to actaully tell you what he was about to do. If you try to pull him in to stay he will only resent you for it, or worse, stay just to appease you but then cheat on you. Would you rather that? No i didnt think so. I know it hurts you and I know you love him, but you have to be strong here and let him go. And If I was you I would date other people too, to help yourself get through what will seem like the hardest thing in your life to cope with.

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This is a difficult issue. You're talking about feelings. Those feelings are the most difficult part in life and love. It's hard to understand the feelings of somebody, because you see and experience them from your own point of view. Everyone goes through a phase in life in which he or she asks him/herself what am I doing and where do I wanna go?? So maybe he's thinking the same. You must realize that the two of you are quit young and have your whole live ahead of you.

I do think that everyone has such a phase in life as which your describing. Not al of them react to that as you would wish or hope for.

In your case, the best way is to really talk about it with him! Let him know what you feel and try to find out what he really wants. This will give you some peace of mind, I hope.

But please take your distance for some time. Give him the time to work things out. And in the meantime, try to find out what YOU really want!!

But whatever you do, don't keep waiting for him. Doing just that will keep your mind and body closed for new things and persons!!

Don't try to find someone, just keep an open mind and realize that there will be a nice person for you too. It just takes a while.

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