Desperate for advice. pls read and reply

[sleepers]

Hi all,

 

Once again i am posting about my ex and I. i did something so foolish just now. And now, i have absolutely dashed any chances of him and me back together again.

 

I love him a lot. Then i asked him if we could go somewhere tonight since he's free and i am free too. But he says 'no, because we are still currently broken up.'

 

Well, then i tried talking to him using white paper and started scribbling wat i had to say on it and showed it to him. So he understood it. BUT then, there was one he replied 'its impossible between us.' i asked why 'i lost the trust i had in you when we were together.' the issue is because i shared something with his ex gf who asked me how we were and he lost it in me.

 

So i felt really thrashy. I didn't want to mention her at all, and gave it a miss. And now, i want him again. I don't know what i am going to do. I am not exactly a person that will wait patiently with time. He asked me not to wait and start dating, which is IMPOSSIBLE!

 

What should i do? i did post a few times before regarding what happened between the both of us. its such a bad misunderstanding and he doesn't see it. No matter what i do, he doesn't sees it! HOw can he be so blind and hard-hearted to this?

 

Despite him saying its impossible between the both of us, some part of how he behaves and everything else tells me we can still be together again. Its been 2 weeks since we broke up. I need help from someone or anyone at all.! i am going nuts from this already...

 

Love him and wait for time to tell. or leave him and wait for my heart to fall?

[Nianna]

Hello Sleepers,

 

I am new around hear but let me start by telling you I understand completely and have been there.

You know maby you should just hear him out, he is obviously trying to let you know how he feels and guys alot of the time have a hard time doing that. Trust me I know it is hard VERY hard, but just hang in there, give him space.

What I found worked was I just stopped calling him and trying to talk to him and waited till he came to me to talk, and he did, another important thing is to keep your composure when you do talk to him or see him again be strong and keep teeling your self that there are more fish in the sea, and show him you are working through it.

 

And as far as this ex gf thing goes, try not to think of the worst that can happen, maby he is just talking or maby just hanging out with her, it sucks but there isn't much you can do about that, girl you don't want to push him away by getting mad at him right?

So instead just be calm and cool about it and say "that is fine if you talk to her,can't control you or what you do"

and leave it at that, chances are is that he probably wants to talk about what he is feeling, cause we as girls fly off the handle and start talking about how we are feeling and how the breakup is affecting us, when there is him to, and he needs to vent as well and if you don't give him that chance then he just might giveup.

So next time you talk to him, just say to him "let's talk about you, what your feeling and what you feel should happen" and just listen to him don't even really talk about you just about him.

Collect your thoughts before you talk with him so you are prepared.

Girl I know it is hard and it HURTS like hell, But for your sake you have to be strong, and by reading your last two messages, you've just let the brake up bring you down to almost nothing, So stand up give thanks you are alive another day, go out take a breath of fresh air and do whatever makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

 

[/b] BE STRONG!!!

[sleepers]

i am always wiling and suggesting to hear what he has to say. but the matter of fact is tat he always says he has nothing to say, which leaves me figuring out the entire thing by myself.

 

i am going to stop calling him tomorrow. i am upset by what he did to me. he is making me feel stupid every day as i am trying to make things work out. and giving him and myself a chance.

 

BUt i guess you provided really valuable comments for me there to read and perhaps absorb. i do not know if he might call back even if i don't call him. he's ready to go out and date. i am jealous, (he likes to make me feel jealous) and he knows i will waiti for him whole heartedly. how stupid right? i just don believe in rebounds. It will hurt the other party you are dating. Why bring it upon others what you are going through?

 

Thanks for listening by the way.. i wil start applying from tomorrow. 13 days to christmas.. i better hope this christmas is gonna be good for me..

[Cid]

It hurts I think we all been there. Now you just need to back off you pushed him and now he is runing. He still might come back but who knows. Just try to move on now. Date outher people and see how you feel after that. I hope that this helps.

[Nianna]

Well I am happy to hear that I have given some good advice.

Just never forget, It is what you make of everything, and it is up to you to decide whether can be happy or sad.

Were you happy before you met him? You must have, cause you didn't know him and you had other things that made you happy, just try to continue doing what you were doing before if you know what I mean,

I know 3 years is it? is a long time but remember you have a lifetime ahead of you and lot will happen in that period of time, there will be a great deal of highs and lows and you have figure out how you will deall with them when the time comes.

see, hear me out for a second, if you were to let every little problem that occures bring you down all the time you would be a very miserable person, that is why you make the best of things,mind you what you are going through isn't that little, but what I am saying is that as hard as it may bee or seem, you have pick and pull out the pro's of all of this and not concentrate so much on the cons you know what I mean?

And we as human do that, it's always easier to bad then good and pick out falts and ignore the good.

 

So take a piece of paper, make two columns and write pro's on one side and con's on the other side, think about this eperience you are going through and fill it out eg. why it is good we are not together um, how this may help in the end ect.

Try to concentrate more on the pro's.

It is natural that you are going to miss him, want to see him, and I can almost assure you 99.9% that he feels the same way, but he is a man and you are a woman and he shows it a little differently, so don't think for a minute that he is having fun and feeling great and forgotten about you because he hasen't, his guards and walls are up and he is most likely trying toblock it out and deal with it on his own terms and that is why he might not have anything to say rite now.

what you are going through is a huge mountain on your path, but in time and like I said only you can determine how long in time, your mountain will become nothing but a little pebble on the path and you will learn from it and perhaps look at it as a good learning experience cause I know I did I hope you understand what I am saying to you.

 

Anyways be calm and collective and try to look at the bright side at least you aren't dying or alone in the middle of no where or starving or something, right?

 

Just remember it is up to you whether you'll be happy or not.

[badboyjoe5050]

Sorry to hear that it didn't work out for you. I am a guy and when guys start going on date with other girls thats when you have to tell your self that you are better than that. YOu do deserve better! You don't deserve to be second! I know how you feel because my ex is putting me through the same exact thing your going through.

 

One day you'll realize, all of a sudden!!!! Its over between us, its not going to work out, and I will move on!! Then you'll feel like a wait off your shoulders. If you know you have done all you can to save the relationship and it still dont work, Realize that it hurts now but tommarow is a different day!!!