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Hello again.


I made one post on here a few months ago, "Horribly, horribly frightened to even talk to her..." Remember?


For those who don't, a brief refresher.


My girlfriend, whom I had met over the Internet, had been broken up with me for about 4 months (now about 6). During the course of our breakup, the reasons for not being together became more and more different. At first it was the geographical distance between us (which, all things considered, really isn't that great). Then, she started telling me that our relationship was becoming very unhealthy, period (which, in retrospect, I totally understand). On top of that, for a few months after we broke up I was so desperate to get her back, and it resulted in my trying to guilt-trip her and basically act like an all-around jerk.


Knowing how I had so messed things up, I had become enstranged from her; as the title of my first post suggests, I was terrified to talk to her, lest I lose her forever. I was also beginning to wonder if she ever wanted to talk to me again.


I'd say that over the past half year, I've matured a lot, and I know that things would be different. There were a number of things I did wrong, and I will never do them again, with her or with any other girlfriend.


Now, to the happy news. The other night, my ex finally took the initiative and IMed me. We didn't discuss going out again or anything, but both of us admitted that we missed talking with one another, and we are back on speaking terms.


I received a few signs which I perceived as hopeful:

1) I mentioned a song that she knows is one of my favourites, and she told me that she thinks about me whenever she hears the song.

2) She asked me--in a rather nervous manner, it seems--how things are going for me on the dating front. (Our respective situations are similar: we're both pretty much on hold when it comes to dating.)


In any event, I'm posting this to 1) give an update to anyone who may have read my first post, 2) to try to get an outside appraisal of my situation (i.e. do I really have a shot, or am I just delusional?), and 3) to ask for some advice on how to proceed. We had a very friendly conversation, and we seem able to acknowledge without any weirdness that we were once going out, but I don't know how or when to re-approach the prospect of getting back together. (I really don't want to freak her out.) Any advice would be appreciated.


Thank you,


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It sounds like you have a shot. I'd keep it fairly light for now - you say you've matured and changed, and before you approach getting back together, it's best if she's had a chance to see that for herself in the way you guys talk. Keep it friendly, but don't pass up the chance for the occasional flirty and cute compliment or comment, just enough to let her know you see her as an attractive girl and not as a "buddy." It'll leave her with a little "feel good" feeling about the convos, even if she can't pinpoint WHY, she'll know talking to you makes her feel good about herself and attractive - and that's a good bit of the battle.

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