Can't get over life's disappointments

[Slain67]

Well, it's me again. I wrote earlier about being overly sensitive to everything. Well, I need help plz. (sorry its a long description)

 

Life is pushing me right now. Everytime I fail, even the littlest thing, gets stuck in my head for days and I get really depressed. And no my sensitivity has not given me advantages in meeting anyone. In fact, just the opposite is true. My sensitivity is keeping me low and no one wants to be around me because of it, or at least that's what I think. I've tried and tried to be optimistic but it has not helped at all. Pessimistic thoughts flood my mind constantly. I move a lot, so that doesn't help me. Also, I have a friend who has bi-polar that hangs out with me most of the time at my college. I liked her and told her I liked her, but she rejected me and she still hangs out with her ex. She loves her ex but he broke up with her and broke her heart and I'm sure shes not over him. Anyways, I don't have any best friends anymore. When I moved to California, I've been really separated from people and anything social. I know most of you will say "Then get out there and join a club or a sports team." or "Just try.", but it's not that simple. I'm so lonely, too. Like I said before, people never seem to want to get to know me or make an effort. And when I do, I usually get shot down. I would kill just to have a g/f. I've tried being confident and all that, didn't work. My sensitivity also makes me very fearful. I'm afraid and don't like to meet new people. All of this plus I'm really stressed out from schoolwork and all the conflicts that I arrive to.

 

so help (please make sure you've read every word of this post)

[lil_mamarains13]

Sounds like you are depressed, and until you seek professional help or dig yourself out of the deep hole you won't find someone who will want to date you. Don't put a mask on either because that mask will only last so long. You need to work on your self esteem. Build confidence in yourself and find something to take your mind off of searching for someone. Sometimes you need to sit back and let happiness find you. Good Luck!

[vfunkera]

hey Slain67,

 

Iv got alot of stuff to say. i know you are a sensitive person, but please understand that i am only trying to help with te way i am thinking.

 

I get really depressed.

I'm afraid and don't like to meet new people.

Your mind state is the only common denominator. Your Depression, or 'sensitivity' is what is pushing people away, and you seem to have noted that yourself.

i had a girlfriend, and i went through some kind of feelings that seemed like depression. Within a week my girlfriend split (the beatch), a friend told me she would be there for me and she didnt do anything but stay away. I was a negative, and realised i had to pull myself together, otherwise no one would be attracted to me.

 

on a few notes.

until you seek professional help or dig yourself out of the deep hole you won't find someone who will want to date you.

life is what you make it, and what you are making of it is why you are in the hole you are. it is time to made some major transformations in your life and your attitude. i understand the need to express yourself, but look at your avater/picture. Your not going to make friends or give a good impression with that picture. no girl will be attracted to a picture like that.

your name> i dont know if thats a rock band or something, but if it isnt and its you expressing yourself, then its not appealing. you've been here since october so if you are expressing yourself, then you've been feeling this way for a long time. its time to stop it.

 

I've tried and tried to be optimistic but it has not helped at all.

I liked her and told her I liked her, but she rejected me

I've tried being confident and all that, didn't work.

 

i cant believe that you tried all those and not get any results. of course not everything goes to plan all the time, but when it doesnt, you dont just give up. you keep at it. pick yourself up and try again. did you give up to easy? did you not put in as much effort as you could have done? give it your best shot. really, give it your best aim. be determined that you want to be like all of those who are confident and enjoying life. i will bet my life that until you dont put any effort in, no results will come out of it.

 

change your mind state. pretend that you are happy. by doing this, you will actually start feeling happy. keep it up. get a new hairstyle, new clothes, new appearance. make yourself more approachable, both physically and mentally.

 

I know most of you will say "Then get out there and join a club or a sports team." or "Just try.", but it's not that simple. I'm so lonely, too. Like I said before, people never seem to want to get to know me or make an effort.

 

it is that simple, your just making it difficult. get yourself up, and go find a club or sports team. no one will come to you. i cant see any reason why you cant. you've got to put the effort in. loads of people approach me from work or university and start talking to me. i know they want to be friends with me, otherwise there would be no reason for them to just randomnly start talking to me would there. alot of members private message me here so they can get to know me better. start getting involved at school or in the clubs. get invloved here.

 

You need to work on your self esteem. Build confidence in yourself and find something to take your mind off of searching for someone.

by doing what i said above, and benefitting from the results, you will be improving your self esteem. and unless you arent aware, self esteem and self confidence are very important in anything. people with high esteem and confidence attract the most people. improve on this and you will improve any chances of getting that ultimate goal- a girl!

 

of course get some support during all this. if you feel you cant do it on your own, seek some professional help. i personally dont think you need it. why? well because im not very pessimistic, and i believe you are doing better then you believe you are=

 

Also, I have a friend who has bi-polar that hangs out with me most of the time at my college. I liked her and told her I liked her

I've tried being confident

I've tried and tried to be optimistic

that doesnt sound like someone who really needs professional help, or is depressed enough to need help. it just sounds like someone whos been really unlucky, especially with the moving around and stuff.

 

its all in you slain67.

good luck 8) 8) 8)

[Slain67]

Wow, thanks guys. Both of your advice seem very helpful. In psychology, my class was learning about how thoughts, behavior, and emotions all affect each other. So if you were to act happy and think optimistically, you'll kind of fool yourself into being happy. What you both said reinforced my beliefs that you should act happy even though you feel unhappy so that things start to look up instead of getting worse. A petpeeve of mine is when people put on fake smiles and act nice to each other even though they hate each other, but I guess i'll have to get over that because thats how life is and I have to accept it. Thanks again. (lol "self-realization")