I think I should just give up.

[Ddog2296]

Alright first off my ex-gf of 5yrs cheated on me with my ex-bestfriend and now they are together and have been for over a month. So ok I've been dealing with that and haven't done anything stupid, and have just been trying to ignore both of them even though its almost impossible considering I have most of my classes with at least one of them. So things are bad enough and she doesn't talk to me and basically acts like I don't exist which is probably for the best.

 

Well ok my situation doesn't really have to do with her leaving me and not wanting anything to do with me. Last thursday she got in one hellacious fight with her dad and ended up getting herself kicked out because she never wanted to be home and never wanted to help around the house, at least she hasn't since she left me. Now keep in mind I'm getting all this info from her dad because he came over to talk to me after it all happened and we still have a close relationship. Anyway she just turned 18, is living with Austin(the ex bestfriend) who is only 17 as well, doesn't have a job, had her car taken away from her and is starting to let her grades fall in school.

 

Now I was fine to walk away before all this happened but it's like she is going into regression and becoming the wild person she was when i met her and its hard to watch someone do this to themselves especially when they do have a good life. I don't understand her anymore she has became foreign to me, but all I know is that I can't walk away and not do anything because I worked with this girl so hard to keep a 4.0 throughout high school until now and to see her giving all this up hurts more than her dumping me.

 

In a last attempt to get her to see things differently I wrote her this letter, I only hope she will read it. Was it the right thing to do, what else can I do, should I just walk away and give up???

___________________________________________________________

Dear Summer,

First off if you are reading this letter I want to say thanks because I know in person I can't express the way I feel about something because my emotions always end up interfering and messing everything up. So by writing this letter I hope that you can learn where I stand on the events of this past month and what I've learned about life.

Over the past month I've discovered that it is possible to continue life without the support of someone you have depended on for five years. I have also realized that some of the people who I ignored the most were the first ones there when I came crashing down. And now as I think back I regret not giving them the respect that they deserve, but what matters is that they gave me a second chance and are willing to accept me again as a friend.

I'm not writing this to tell you that everything is fine with me, because in reality it's not and you know I have never been one to sugar coat anything and make it seem like it's better than it is. I'm also not here to persuade you to take me back. You have changed into a person that I can't relate to anymore and to tell you to do something that I think you would like is totally futile. With all that said I think I'm ready to tell you what has been on my mind.

When you first said that, "I don't feel the same way anymore" I seriously thought my world was over. I had no idea what to do no idea where to turn everything was spinning so fast that I felt like I was in a sick dream and that if I just waited I would wake up. During this waiting time I cried, I didn't sleep, and I didn't eat. Truthfully I didn't feel like living anymore if you weren't there for me. I felt nauseated when I looked at food and when I did sleep I would dream of old times and wake up only to be crushed again day after day. Well when I realized things weren't going to get better with just me I turned to the only people that were on the outside and those people are everyone I've told about us. Now I don't want you to think that I'm an inconsiderate prick for being open to people who care about what I'm feeling. The only thing I ever aimed to get from these people is closure, that you have still not given me, and to let them know how events like this affect people so that I could build myself back up and walk away.

Summer, inside I've felt hatred, disgust, anguish, betrayal, and pain with a slew of other names. And to tell you the truth a part of me is still very attached to you, and another part of me is happy that it happened. Now the part that is happy, feels that way because I realize it could have been worse if I would have found out after we got married, which was always my plan. And the part that is attached to you is that way because you have influenced the way I have developed so much that every time I do something I feel you right beside me. And that part of me is so attached because I did love you with all my heart and that left me with little room to love others. So I'm truly sorry if my actions towards you have seemed selfish and insensitive, that's not what I anticipated to happen. I just know that the way I feel towards you I can't bottle up, and now that I know you don't feel the same way I'm trying as hard as I can to ignore them. Because I've had some crazy thoughts and I know if I went through with any of my ideas nothing good would come of them and this entire situation would only become worse.

So Summer I'm going to tell you I still feel for you and care what happens to you and am concerned about what you do. And even as you continue to tell me not to care for you and not to worry about you the commitment I made so many years ago still holds strong. And in order to keep my personal dignity I can't give up on that commitment to always care for you. I won't lie and say you didn't hurt me because you did and you hurt me very deep but I'll move on. So as stupid as I may sound and as stupid as some people think I am for feeling this way after all that has happened I still feel for you and I believe I always will and I'm willing to live with that because I know this has been hard on you and later in life I want to be able to be the shoulder you can brace yourself on when the world seems like too much. And Summer I know down deep you have the potential to do anything in the world, I've seen it and it made me burst into tears of joy, and I know one day, if you find the right path, you'll be a star even if it is in someone else's sky.

So I guess my point is, if you are absolutely undeniably happier with Austin then you have my absolute blessings. I only want what is best for you because if you are really happy then I can be move on knowing I didn't leave you hurting. Now I feel horrible that I can't say the same for him and if that hurts you I'm truly sorry but I cannot respect a person, whom I've already given a second chance, who doesn't have the audacity to do something in front of me and who, even after all he has said to me, proves to be a deceitful degenerate. But enough about that he knows how I feel and it's him who has to live with the guilt. So if you really feel this is what will make your life better then go for it, you know I was always a person to push you to achieve your goals no matter what other people think.

However, I must tell you that I believe you should be happy but you also need to look out for yourself Summer and what is best for you if you didn't have that significant other in your life. I know I never planned to lose you and when I did I was lost and to some extent I still am, and even though I know it'll be a very long time before I love someone the way I loved you this will pass and things will get better. But Summer, everything that has been happening between you and your dad is probably none of my business. But I know I have to tell you how I feel before things get worse and I slap myself for not telling you. Summer you need to sit down, by yourself, and spend time thinking about your future and planning how you are going to get yourself in that classroom and into your own house, if that is still what you want. I know you and your dad have never been, at least since I have known you, particularly close. But do you remember that time we went to visit him at the hospital after he had that minor heart attack, do you remember how upset we both were? I know you love him Summer and maybe you can't forgive him for how he treated your mother when you were little but he is just trying to do what he believes is best for you and he does deserve another chance if that is the case. I know you might feel as if he has abandoned you but he hasn't and this is tearing him apart. But in life Summer you have to give to get and he has more than given to you and the little he is asking is more than worth it. Remember Summer you are only 18 and you have a good 50 or 60 years ahead of you, just think, you don't even have a job and now not even a place that you can truthfully call home. You should mend these wounds before they escalate into something you have no control over, believe me things will be better if you do and your future will be much brighter. They say if we have love then that is all we need, and maybe a thousand years ago that was all that we did need, but in today's world one needs so much more in order to live and you know that as well as I do. But remember this is just my opinion, you will do what you think you should do, however remember Summer I never tried to lead you down a wrong path and when you are on the inside its hard to see what is going to happen down the road but when you are observing from the outside you can clearly see where events are headed.

I guess I really have no more to say except to thank you for all that you gave me as a partner, as a friend, and as a confidant. I guess to love and to loose really is better than to have never loved at all. Good luck in all of your future endeavors I know you have the potential to do anything. Maybe someday we can look back on this and grow from it and maybe someday we can be friends but I know right now that is not for the best because neither of us has healed enough. So whatever you decide to do in life decide to do it because it's what you want and it's what will allow you to achieve your goals. Maybe in the future our paths will cross again and we can rediscover each other but I won't hold my breath. We must take what life deals us and play our cards to the best of our ability but remember don't be ashamed to ask people for help, many of them care more than you could ever imagine.

 

Forever and always you will be a part of me,

Adam

[atticus]

damn man, I'm sorry to hear what has happened.

 

to me it seems as if you put a lot of thought in that letter, and decided what kind of stuff you want to say.

 

personally i think, it's a great letter, seriously... and if she'll read it, i'm sure she'll think about her dad, and her grades, and her future.....

 

it's good that you still care for her, even if she doesn't appreciate it, she will when she realizes in what a slump she's being pulled in....

 

as you said, she will always be a part of you... you can't change that, and i know for a fact, that you will learn from this, and build upon it.

 

as i can see, you don't regret being together with her, otherwise i would have told you.

"don't regret what once made you smile"

 

maybe you should tell her that too?

 

 

anyway, good luck in your future, i know it's hard to love someone again after losing someone such a short while ago, but be strong, you'll manage man

 

good luck

 

later.

 

Oz.

[in_the_mirror]

wow that is a long letter but i think it would get the point accross. if you don't see a change you might wanna try talking to your ex best friend and ask him to talk to her because you still care for her and you don't want to see her mess up. but just ask your friend to just ask her to change a little or start bring up her grades. cuz if she seemed to change for you she prolly will for him too.

[latinstyle]

Sorry to hear about what happened to you. This is a great letter cause it pours out your feelings and they are not in there festering. I bet it's a big relief to just get all that out in the open.

 

My girlfriend broke up wih me about a month ago also and we were together 6 years. I did the same thing but instead of a letter I called her and poured out my feelings.

 

We have since then started talking and getting closer so I have faith in GOD that she might realize how much I love her. I had the same attitude as you, you know I want you but I don't need you even though I was dying inside. You are on the right track.

 

Even though she is with your ex-bestfriend, you are the one that came out on top so keep going. Things will get better whether she comes back or not.

 

-Eibarra

[ForAnother]

I am a 17 year old male. I loved your letter. It was sweet. Made me cry, s'all I wanted to say

 

For Another

[Ddog2296]

Hey thanks everyone for the replies. It's going to be really hard to let her do this to herself but you are all right that it will be harder on me if I don't let her go. God it sucks to feel so much for someone.

 

I've never really quit at anything and this is weird because inorder to go forward I have to quit lol.

 

I don't know I don't understand people sometimes

[Ddog2296]

Well just got off the phone with a friend who has physics class with Summer and he told me that when she was starting to read this letter Austin came up and grabbed it and ripped it up and threw it away. Wth kinda crap is that lol!??! Oh well I'm reprinting it and going to try and have her read it in zero period before school tomorrow.