don't know what to do. want her to feel better

[jl301]

Hello everyone,

 

I really don't know what to do? I feel kind embrassed talking about this subject, but I really like this girl and I want to feel better about incident that happen two days a ago. I especially want the female perspective on this. Well here goes, I know that lot of people out there is going to laugh there ass off on this. But I cared about this girl so much that I don't mind asking for advice on this.

 

This girl and I have been talking to one another for about three months now. We have kiss already and she told me that she really likes me. Two days ago, she came over my house. We fool aroud and we kissed for long time. Soon later, we both got our clothes off and she ask me, if I would think bad of her, if she wanted to have sex with me. So we decided to have sex. Well, here comes my problem, I was aroused the whole time we were fooling around, but when it comes to it. I did not rise to occasion. I don't know what happen is not like was not attracted to her. She had killer body. I guess I just got nervous and now she feel really embrassed in front of me. She now thinks that I don't like her as much I think I do. She feel really embrassed, I don't know what to tell her because I really do like her and that I really wanted to have sex with her. I just don't understand what happen. So now she is feel weird around and that I told her that it was all my fault and it has nothing to do with her. She says that she might not want to see me anymore. I told her that would really hurt me really bad. So we talked and I told her all the things that I felt and that I not trying BS around and that I do like her alot and that I am very attracted to her. She told me that she really likes me and that she know I am good thing for her and that she shouldn't throw it away. So now she says that she cool with it and that she doesn't want to talk about it. She will still talk to me everyday, but she doesn't want to see in person for a little bit, she says the at most it would be two weeks that she won't see me. I told her that it will drive me crazy, but I will respect her needs. I just don't want her to threw all this away it away. I told her we can make that weirdness go away.

 

What should I do? What should I say to her? How do I make the weirdness go away between us? We still have hope between us right?

Please I need all the help I need, thanks.

 

 

[S4il]

well i see that your effected by what happened, there really is nothing you can do, i mean really you got Nervous and you lost your "erection" that isn't a bad thing....it happens a lot to people. (your not alone)

 

Now that this all happened and it's all in the past, she probably thinks that your not ready, because you got nervous and all that, you feel embarrassed,. well yea of course you are going too feel that way, really all you can do is give her space, don't call, no contact, nothing nothing nothing ....empathize the word " NOTHING" (space is what she is requesting, you have to value her and give it as much as you can, until she contacts you, TRUST ME she will after a while, girls sometimes are suckers for thinking this way about guys, and usually after a while call to see whats up, and to make sure you haven't forgotten about them)

 

why i say to give space is because if you don't your just going to create tension between you too, she already said she needed to, from what you said.

 

she doesn't want to see in person for a little bit, she says the at most it would be two weeks that she won't see me

 

This is crucial to remember and keep in mind, you have to respect her wishes, it's not because she doesn't want to be around you, i think it's more she would feel uncomfortable,and so would you.

 

Try this it might help

 

next time you 2 get together, if it gets brought up just laugh about it. if you dwell of the fact that you lost a GOOD chance to have sex with this girl, your not going to gain any ground with her..you can just forget about it. like i said above it happens a lot more than you think. sometimes called "impenitence" you can even say to her something like

 

"I wasn't ready to have sex with you, it's safe to say i respect you too much, and i didn't want to take that respect away by just having sex with you, even thow the time seemed right, i couldn't follow threw with it all because i would feel bad after,if you willing to accept this i can't really put it any other way, You want to become more than just "Friends with benefits" and see where that leads us, or do you still want space from me?"

 

something like that, i can't get into details because i don't know your position with her, But you can add your own thoughts and feeling into that, and I'm sure you can create a really Kosher way of letting her know how you feel, I would at least let her know that you want to continue to see her, and possibly start a relationship, your being straight forward, and your not generating any sort of pressure, if she says No, than you know where you stand, if she says yes..than go for it what to you have to loose, besides another erection...(ok I'm joking) just some humor

 

Words are running short, i tried my best....