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Rejected


theman
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hey i posted before asking what i should about this girl i like (see "Am I doing well???" below before it gets deleted). well here's what happened: i wrote her a note yesterday "why did you say "i dont know" (u know what im talking about)" (again see Am I doing well???) she writes "r u asking me out" i write (jokingly) "no im asking why u said i dont know, ill ask u out later". a ll the while my "friend" (a girl) is standing by her telling her what to say. so the girl i like says "oh im not ready to have a relationship yet" i smile and tell her that its alright (i managed not to look let down ) from then on she kept looking at me shyly with a cute smile on her face. but the problem is that my "friend" is now mad at ME for apparently no reason (maybe because i was telling her to keep out of it, but she was the one probably telling the girl i like to reject me!) what do you think went right and what went wrong?? sorry if this was hard to understand. thanks

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Are you upset that she in essense said no? Or are you just trying to analyze this so you can try to understand things a bit better?

 

First of all, we all have to learn how to deal with rejection. It happens to all of us. Just because you like somebody doesn't mean that it's wrong if they don't like you back. It's going to happen lots in your life likely.

 

I'm not quite sure what you were intending to accomplish with her either. You said to her you weren't asking her out at the time, but then express your disappointment to us about being let down. That makes it sound to me like you were asking her out, but you wanted a commitment from her somehow before you actually asked.

 

Also, saying that you would ask her out later might make it seem like you feel you have more important things to do at the moment. That's not a good sign to give unless you're playing a "hard to get" game, which I think you're not.

 

The good part was she smiled at you.

 

Nest time, try to deal with her one on one, and don't ask too many questions, try to discuss something other than "what did you mean by" and so on. Why don't you discuss that CD you both like, see if there are other discs and bands that you both like. In other words, get her talking about anything else at all before talking about you and her.

 

And if she says she not ready for a relationship, be careful how hard you press for one.

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thanks. actua lly im not very upset with being rejected, since im still friends with the girl i like (ca ll her M), although im hoping for more. i am upset because i do not know what i did wrong, why my friend is mad at me, and what she was telling M. and when i said "ill ask you out later" i was being sarcastic (not in a mean way). i also do not know if M just meant no or that shes just needs time.

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I may be missing something, but you said your friend (not M) is a girl, right. And now she's mad and you're not sure why (this ocurred after your note to M). I think your "friend" likes you.

 

Did your "friend" tell M to write that "she's not ready for a relationship"? Is M friends with your "friend"? If so, then maybe M knows that this other girl likes you.

 

Just relax and get to know each other better. Find out more about what she likes, then you will have something to talk about.

 

Good Luck!

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