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How can she be so hard to figure out?! [sorry - long]


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My best friend, being my ex girlfriend, is so hard to figure out, sometimes i feel that there is a great chance of her having interest in me again, sometimes i don't...

 

for example, in school we talk a lot, and often flirt a bit, and always smile at one another.

and sometimes she does little things which make me feel she likes me, for example, things like her trying to pull my pants down a lot (i always wear them pretty far down, so it's not really hard) or things such as, sticking up for me against her friends....

 

and this hasn't been like it a month ago....

 

another thing, we talk on the phone way more than we did a month ago, a month ago i might have called her once a week to check if we'll be meeting up with other people...

but the last few weeks, me and her have been on the phone like 3-4 times a week.. and our conversations are mostly over an hour long...

also, today, i met up with her, and we went through town, i went shopping with her, since i had nothing else to do, and she's always really excited when going shopping, so it was nice seeing her that happy, and during that time, she touched me quite a lot, making it seem as if she didn't notice when doing it (maybe she didn't?!)...

 

well afterwards, we went to the skatepark, and met up with another friend, for the first hour it was me and her talking, and that kinda stuff, but then she and our friend started to talk about music and sing to it (i couldn't join in, since it's music i don't listen to and don't know...) so that was that...

 

and another thing, sometimes she just goes

"Oz, stop it!"

i go: "what?"

she goes: "just stop it!"

i go: "stop what?"

she goes: "i've told you before, just stop!"

 

lol, and it's all fun, but she only does that to me..

 

the reason i am so confused, is because, she isn't like that to me all the time, sometimes she's just like a good friend to me, and not with those kinda 'signs' (if they even are signs)...

 

and she was the one to break up (we broke up without a fight) so shall i wait for her to ask me to try it again or what...

 

and am i going the rigth way?

 

i'd really like to give it another try, since i have changed the things which made us break up, and it's better now... ( such as self-confidence and stuff like that)..

 

advice is greatly appreciated - sorry if this is confusing - and sorry for this being so long.

 

thanks

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ok where do i start,

 

how long have you two broken up for? im presuming it hasnt been that long. i would usually expect exes hanging out with each other to be unhealthy if one still has feelings for the other. but you seem to be enjoying your time with her, yet those feelings and your hopes of getting back with her seem to be alive, and i would argue that that is the reason you still seem to be hanging out with her. she seems to have moved on, you have not.

 

please remember the fact that you two are only friends at the moment.

-dont read into anything,

-and do not get your hopes high,

because if she wants you back in her life, she will definetly let it be known. at the moment i think you are playing a very dangerous game.

 

she isn't like that to me all the time, sometimes she's just like a good friend to me, and not with those kinda 'signs'

its hard to do those two points if your still hanging around with her with feelings and hopes. i would say that if you did ask her out, she will say no, and you will end up devastated. i have to tell you you need to heal and not consider her as nothing more then a friend before you can actually be friends with her, otherwise you will always feel the way you feel now while around her every week.

 

i'd really like to give it another try, since i have changed the things which made us break up, and it's better now

 

experience is something we only get after we need it, and that applies to everyone. i have learned all my lessons since my ex broke up with me, and know that if she gives me another chance, she will be mines to keep. but she wont give me that second chance, and i dont think your ex will either.

 

her motivation for keeping you around? i dont know, but theres two possibilities. shes either keeping you around as back up (unlikely in my opinion after reading your post), or she just considers you as a very special friend, and thats all it is (the more likely possibility). her posotive signals do not seem to convince me she is interested in you. just looks like fun to me.

 

so shall i wait for her to ask me to try it again or what...

the best way to get some one back is to move on, and it always will be. let her miss you. move on and then you will know whether you want her to come back. DO NOT WAIT. do not pin for her and do not chase her since that is what you seem to be doing. you will only end up getting hurt.

 

you are not going the right way about it. you maybe best friends with each other, but you will only end up hurt keeping her around with feelings for her. "the worst way to miss someone is to sit next to them knowing you cant have them"

 

good luck indee_vidual

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hey, thanks for that... a few things though.

 

 

me and her have been broken up for about 8 months...

 

thing is, i was perfectly fine with being friends, i dated another girl for 3 months, but we broke up, and had no intentions whatsoever getting back together with my ex, until about a month ago, so basically, i was over her, but i seem to have fallen for her again....

 

another thing i forgot to add: she was also asked (for a school study - by a friend) whether she would reconsider getting back together with one of her ex boyfriends... she did say 'Yes' however, she did also mention "not with Oz." at that point i couldn't care less, and i knew it was because of the same reasons we broke up, but i worked on those, so i don't know.

thanks anyway.

 

oh well, guess i just have to accept the situation the way it is.

 

 

thanks again. later.

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It seems like she just enjoys you around here, all the Signs i believe are ways of her showing you that, (flirting) she likes you, you like her, it's been 8 months and i think the space was given, you dated someone else that didn't work out, you were over her, than she popped back into your life, and now you like her again, HEY...guess what that happens to everyone, your not alone here...

 

you could re-kindle this, and again start to date her, if she accepts you back....or you can remain her good friend, and continue to do things under the justification of friends, nothing wrong with that...but if more is wanted, it's going to be an obligation on your part too make it happen...i don't think she has too anymore "hinting" i think you know what needs to be done. you like others in here sometimes answer there own post. perhaps it a self-conscious state of mind, and acute chemical sensory in our brains that do this..

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if you want her back, i would talk to her about it...

 

communication is the key, because if you spend more and more time and you feel like you are getting closer and closer and then she goes out with another bloke you are stabbing yourself in the foot!

 

if you arent too phased about what happens just let things go and see what happens.. what will be will be.

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