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End it over a phone call?


Abfchgirlx
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I've been dating this guy for about two weeks. I have fallen for him made core. Not in love, not loving him, but I love things about him yes and I like him a lot. He's the most suitable guy I've ever dated in the past year in a half.

 

The problem is that I called him twice yesterday. One was a quick update on my current health situation I have going on (i had an anxiety attack the other day ... probably freaked him out a good one). The 2nd phone call was right when he got off work. I left a message saying to give me a ring. He never called. I called back 45 mins. later and found his cell phone turned off. He usually does call me back when I say "give me a call". He also always leaves his phone in his truck so that's why I tried to call right when he got off work (we work together but I had that day off).

 

Anyway, he had to received the message and I think that was a complete dick of him to not call mr back let alone turn off his cell phone. So far people told me to ignore him until he confronts me about what's wrong and stuff. I planned on ending it with him because I'm not a girl who wastes my time on a jerk like that in the first place. There's no point in not calling your girl back at all that night and turning your cell phone off on her. So, I thought about ending it and planned on doing just so.

 

But then, I started reading all these articles on the net and a book my roommate had about relationships and stuff. Now I'm just getting confused if I should end it or not because he was an ass for turning his cell phone off on me and not returning his call. I'm afraid that I'm being too picky looking for someone to satisfy me and if I should just stick it out with this ... person.

 

I'm kinda afraid that if I do it will just repeat. I heard he doesn't want to get into anything too quick because he got burnt with his last girlfriend. He moved in with her within a month and he broke up with her about 4 months later. Which, she still lives with him. He is working on his way of moving out of there though. He made it quiet clear to me that he never has and never will cheat on anyone or go back to her or anything.

 

It sounds terrible, I know. I'm just curious if I'm being too picky. Is it alright to be picky? I don't want to marry a jerk (I date to find a potential spouse).. so someone tell me if I'm on the right track here of ending it?

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hey Abfchgirlx

welcome to the site.

 

from what i have read, this seems to be fresh relationship, and as you say you are yet to love him but love the things he does, this in itself is a pretty big step to say that you have only been dating for two weeks. are you sure that it is a relevant reason to end it, your correct in saying that its not what you want in a man, but did he know that you didnt appreciate this in the first place. and it seems to be a first as you commented on him usually answering.

have you asked him about this and if so what was his respnce?

it could be that he was just busy and really couldnt answer or no battery (this is dependant on how he explained)

 

 

you say that you are only looking for a spouse and thereforeeee i would like you to take in a quote that is relevant to my life and what i believe:

at the beginning of life we were made as a circle until upon evil we were separated into two equal parts. from then on we were made to search for the remaining half, and once found and only then you have found true love! by finding the incorrect half you are not only dampening what you could have had but also the other half that will remain to look for you!

 

how well do you think this fits your relationship, how would you feel without him?

could you overcome this?

 

a relationship is based on trust and communication, maybe these are things you could work on.

hope i helped.

kel

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Perhaps he had an emergency. Or he just wasn't expecting your call. Or he had plans. Maybe he forgot to recharge his cell phone and the battery is dead.

 

I think you are severely overreacting on this. You've only been dating him for two weeks - you don't own him. You started off by saying he's the most compatible person you have ever dated and yet you are ready to end it because he hasn't returned your phone call quick enough?

 

Ease up on the poor guy. You are being really possessive at such an early stage in your relationship. He has a life too and is probably not just waiting by the phone expecting your call. Don't try to rush things so fast or he might get freaked out and leave.

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just try to calm down, although there is can be a problem i dont think u should end the relationship

he could just need a little space or just probally didnt feel like talking but just next time you see him calmly ask and try not to make a big deal out of it, you dont want to end your relationship oover something stupid. donrt just give up on him give it some time im sure it will all come out alright.

p.s try to calm down and dont think too much it can make things seem a way they really aren't

good luck with your situation and i hope your relationship works out

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Yes, he did have plans. He was going to go hunting with his family. Leave sometime after work on Friday or whatever.

 

Absolutly right though, it has only been two weeks and yes it is a little controlling and stuff. Just a little hard that my depression had to hit right in the beginning of this whole relationship scenario.

 

So I'll see what he says about it on Tuesday when I see him. Actually, I don't think I'm going to bother talking to him about it. I'll just ease up on the relationship and let him do his own thing (like he always does anyways). Does that sound like the right approach?

 

And to respond to the quote and stuff, that is a great quote. I really don't know right now if my life would be better with him in it, or out of it. It just feels like it's made for it a little bit more then all the rest of the guys I date. Kissing him seems right.

 

Idunno, I'm pretty sure I did scare him off with some actions.

 

So now the advice would be.. how do I let him know that I'm safe for him not to run off? What do I need to do about it?

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Just relax. Let the relationship take its course naturally. Its a little early in the relationship for him to help you with your depression and anxiety. Once he gets to know you better then I'm sure he will.

 

I would turn to a close friend for right now when you feel you need support. As you get closer to your boyfriend then you could start explaining your condition just so he understands what is happening to you.

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Yeah I already told him about my condition and stuff. He said it's understandable and that it's ok and he's had to see two shrinks himself. That he's not always happy and he thought about suicide and stuff (but never harmed himself) also.

 

I'm feeling right now that I screwed up somehow to push him away a bit. My depression is ragging it over my head at this moment saying its my fault and crap, bah. Which.. idunno, it kinda is.

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Just remember, depression is a big lier. It tells you horrible things about yourself until you believe them.

 

Do not listen to those lies. You sound very aware of your condition and I hope you have sought treatment. If not, please do before it gets worse.

 

Good luck!

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Yes, I've saught treatment the day after it happened (only time I could call a doctor..) and I got pills that day for it too. So yeah, I'm on the track of taking the meds.

 

I hope your right. That Scott isn't thinking anything and he's just doing his own thing and it's not me.

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