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I hate my life!!!


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For 17 years, I lived w/my family. Now, I have my own. Ever since, I think about all the "bad" moments. Why? Shouldn't I be happy? For years, we weren't the perfect family. Talked whenever needed. Laughed whenever possible.

Every time, I talk to my family on the phone. They say the bad things. They would tell me that my brother and dad got into a fight. They would say he likes to drink alcohol. It hurts. It puts me down. Even if I live a thousand miles away. They hardly have anything. My mom is a part-time janitor and receives welfare. My dad doesn't do anything and doesn't have his h.s degree. He blames my mom for sleeping with these men 17-18 years ago! He bashes her w/all these mean words. Calls her names. Never missed. My brother is slowly turning out like him. He likes to smoke marijuana. He is in the army. It seems like he doesn't get along great with my dad. That makes me very sad. My boyfriend gets along w/his dad and all these other father/child relations I know. They have it different. Makes me feel bad for my brother. I don't want him to think like that. My boyfriend makes me feel bad for having a family that doesn't support me! He says at least his family helps out more than mine. It made me cry. It hurts!!! I feel weak about this! Why do people have to be so insensitive??? Why are they so spoiled? We live in a SMALL house. I never saw suburbia. We don't have running water. He has this gigantic house and his parents are politicians. Democrats. Anyway, i'm just feeling sorry for myself and I don't need to. But, he makes me feel like I am very poor when inside I am a great person. It's not the money or possessions that count. Isn't it? It's the personality, love, and support we give to each other...but, anyway, why are people often mean, angry, or depressed?

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Hey Allstar Girl

 

Sorry your feeling so down. Let's see if this will help ! Someone said to me long time ago. "You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. I thought about that and said boy how true. Some of us would gladly pick new parents. We can pick our boyfriends and girlfriends to. Boy I know I have picked some real losers in my day when it comes to girlfriends. Sounds like the guy your are seeing is just a little mean to me. And sometimes people have to put people down to make themselves look bigger. Sounds like he has an image problem. Tell him to watch the movie Rich Man Poor Man. Everyone on the face of the planet comes from different backrounds. Some are born with millions and some born with pennies. We all have choices to better ourselves. If we choose good things I have found good things happen. However if we choose the wrong road. Well some people have to hit a few dead ends before they get it right. And some choose to never get it right.

But remember that is their choice not yours. One time on 60 minutes I remember Ed Bradly interviewing a man on death row for murder. The man told Mr Bradly that the reason he robbed the clerk for $32.00 and then shot her through the heart was because his father was a drunk, his mother was never their for him. He said the home he lived in was a hated life. O.K. that was his story. Then they jumped to a different story, they introduced his twin brother. They both lived in the same house had the same mother and father and even shared the same bedroom all of their life growing up. His brother had three jobs, throwing newspapers in the morning, worked in a car wash in the day and washed dishes at night.

He saved his money got good grades. Paid his own way through school till he could get a scholarship. And ended up with a law degree from Harvard.

They both had the same family, they both had choices. The one on death row. Choose poorly. You can choose wisely. Don't worry about what they won't do, and focus on what you can do. When I get around negative people. I do my best to only stay around for a very short time. It can wear of on you. Keep your chin up. The people that died in the world trade center would love to trade with us for just one more of our miserable days. Try and think of another word instead of hate. Hate is the strongest of words. Let's try these few words. This is not forever. Some of the best love stories come from rich and poor. And you had it right with your post the last two lines. Don't ever change those thoughts.

 

Warm Regards

Kuhl

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i contemplated suicide once, but didnt simply because i couldnt imagine the state of my mum when she'd find out, so i just carry on through this struggle. i hate life because everything just seems to be depressing and hard and unsatisfying. war, lies, trust, same thing everyday.

 

The people that died in the world trade center would love to trade with us for just one more of our miserable days

 

i guess we all take things for granted. i like your statement because it makes me think of how lucky we are. how lucky that we aint blind. can you imagine being blind? staring at pitch black? how thankful am i. or not having an arm. or a leg- not being able to run or walk. or being deaf. i cant live without my music to listen to so i cant believe how lucky we are to have ears to hear. when i feel low, then those kind of thoughts just help through my frustration on life. my heart goes out to all those disabled.

 

life sucks, but never take a day on this planet for granted, because you'll never know when you might be going. seriously imagine you were to die tomorrow. would you be saying good riddens to this life. i wouldnt. i'd be begging for a cure or a way out. the ending to 'Blade Runner' film and what the white haired dude says before he 'dies' always gets me thinking.

 

if what your boyfriend says is hurting you, then tell him and dont stand for it. you live once, and you dont want to be regretting anything do you?

your family cant change so accept them as they are. and if you feel there can be a difference, then make it happen!

 

good luck and peace

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