Friend found guilty, how to help him deal with prison?

[Johnny_has]

Hello,

I need some on how to support a friend of mine who will be serving a prison sentence after being found guilty of multiple counts of fraud today. He is to appear in court early next month for sentencing. I know he has made a HUGE mistake but I feel for him.

 

He is terrified about being raped and/or getting bashed in prison. I just don't know what to say to him, he can face up to 12yrs imprisonment but his lawyer says it's very unlikely that he'd face the strictest penalty. Although his lawyer did say to be prepared to face a couple of years of prison time.

 

How can I say to him "don't worry about being raped or bashed, you'll be fine" when I don't know for sure! I looked up some info on the net and prison life sounds horrible. My buddy is only a small man 5'9" and only of slender frame and he'll be locked up with a whole population of violent criminals. What if he gets locked up with a cellmate who is a violent prison rapist?

 

His biggest concern is being sodimized and bashed, he said if he would get raped in prison he'd rather commit suicide then live through that. How can I help my friend who went of the rails?

[charmed]

Hi Johnny_has,

 

I understand your situation here. I know some people who have been in prison, and it is indeed a tough time. Unfortunately, authorities seem to do little about the sort of thing you are talking about, and I suspect this is to act as a deterrent to be in there in the first place.

 

I agree with Mickel. Firstly, no matter what you say, it will not affect much of what happens to him once inside. It is like moving country or town - a new way of life and he is going to have to adjust to all sorts of things. You could help him focus on how to make some good solid friends, and try to encourage him to participate in as much education as he possibly can - that is time well well spent. Talk about as many positive things as you can about the experience he will go through, and try to take the attention off the sexualy side of the whole thing.

 

In saying that, you can't ignore his worry, and you should acknowledge that it could happen, but he could do some things to discourage it. He should find out (with some serious tact) what the situation is like in there regarding this sort of thing. Find out who to avoid and who to stay well away from. The more involved in activities that involve supervision the better. He has as much chance of being bet up as being raped, and either way, staying out of the limelight will help him. Also, he shouldn't let his size scare him. He must walk in with his head held high, and not looking afraid.

 

I hope some of this helps your situation some. It's not going to be easy, and no-one ever said that time would be easy. You can be a good support to him, and you obviously care enough about him to want to help - so keep up the good work, and remember, we are here for any help we can give you.

 

Take care,

 

~

[Johnny_has]

Thanks for your advice SwingFox and charmed. I will try and give him advice about some of the positives from this as well as to be aware of what could happen.

 

But of course the guards can't protect him 24/7, and if he's sharing a cell with a particularly vicious thug then it could be a nightmare. Say if he becomes a victim of assault or rape do you think I should advice him to tell the guards about it?

 

I have read on the net that "snitching" on other inmates can mean a death sentence. I've also read that prison officers don't take rape very seriously in prison and some turn a blind eye to it when they know very well what's going on.

 

Anyway I will support him throughout it and visit him regularly. Thanks for your advice once again guys.

[charmed]

Hi johnny !

 

You are naturally, totally welcome.

 

Right now, he is outside. Perhaps he should talk to his lawyer or some other authorities on this issue. I'm afraid I'm no expert on the US Prison service, but there have got to be people who can help you on this. Perhaps, as a friend, you could do this for him, and find out as much useful information for him.

 

Be strong for him,

 

~

[The Morrigan]

There's a couple of books on surviving the prison system at Barnes & Noble - and a couple organizations I found on the net aimed at similar.

 

Here's a collection of essays from a former inmate in Florida, survival tips

link removed

 

and another

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And here's the link to the larger organization - which is very information intensive.

 

link removed

 

Sometimes the worst is only having heard stories and not KNOWING what you'll have to deal with, hopefully some of the information there will help at least give him a feeling of having a little control and not clueless in this situation.

 

And in case nobody's mentioned it - you're one hell of a good friend to stand by him regardless - many bail on something like this. Best of luck to you.

[dfcannon]

I'm a little confused here. He's been convicted of a white-collar felony, but will be put in prison with violent criminals? Shouldn't his lawyer be fighting to make sure he gets into a low-security prison designed for people like him?

 

If the criminal justice system in this jurisdiction is barbaric enough to thoughtlessly throw him into a cell with a convicted sodomist, well, he has a problem. I would suggest he find ways to appear tough...less like a victim...and read the books linked earlier in this thread. If I were in this situation, I'd grow a beard, hit the weights, read those books, generally do everything possible to not look like a target. Tell him his life is worth a lot, and that he'll get out on the other side. Suicide will prevent him from all the GOOD things that can still be ahead, and he needs to focus on this.

 

Personally, I doubt he will ever be raped. I think he is exaggerating the risk, because again, typically guys like him are not mixed with violent offenders.