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Girlfriend came back, only to leave me again. Please help!!!


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Okay, now this really sucks. Here's the last thing that has happened in my roller coaster love life. If you read my previous posts you know I have been w/ a girl for five years and we lived together, then she left me in April of this year. I was really heartbroken, but finally saw light. She then kept calling me every few weeks when she was drunk and I kept being mean to her. Finally, these last few weeks we have been seeing each other as friends. Two nights ago, I told her I couldn't do this anymore, that it hurts me too much because I love her a lot and more than a friend. She asked what I want from her. I said I would like us to start dating, nothing serious, just date each other exclusively. She is with another guy (whom she says she met in June) and I said you need to let him go. She agreed. Said that he doesn't mean as much to her as I do. The next evening (yesterday) she calls me and says she can't do this. Says she doesn't want to go back and wants to move on. Says she has someone new. She said she loves him and doesn't want to give us a try anymore. She said it was a mistake of hers calling me and wanting to be friends because I can't handle it at this time. She said when she agreed to start dating me again the previous night she did it because she felt guilty about stirring up old feelings. She said she can be my friend, but that's it. Says she no longer has "those type" of feelings for me anymore.

I was so hurt. I cannot believe that after five years f being with me she can treat me like this and can just start a new relationship with someone else. How can she love him after only 6 months. Why would she keep calling me for the past eight months and tell me she misses me only to end up like this? Is it really over? Help!!!

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Well, I'm afraid you may have just caught her in a moment of weakness. It sounds like she has basically moved on from you and her feelings for you - even though she slipped over the past few weeks.

 

You asked how can she love a new person within 6 months. I think it is very possible to fall in love in 6 months, or even much shorter time periods. There is no set amount of time it takes someone to fall in love. Its different for each person.

 

I don't think it will be possible for you to have contact with her until you are totally over the relationship. As you can see, it still hurts you to be with her because you aren't content with anything other than her complete and undying love for you. Given what you have described, that just isn't going to happen. Take a long break from her while you heal. Do not have any contact. Its not healthy for you because you feel she is rubbing her new relationship in your face.

 

Start the healing my friend. You have to stop asking yourself why, why why because there is no logical answer. I know it is driving you nuts but you must move forward - not back.

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hey forget her, she is just toying u around cuz she knows u have feelings for her... maybe she's not the right girl for u... ur to loyal for her... live your life... do something for yourself for now that doesnt invloved any women... be happy.... she's not worth it.... its her lost to lost you......

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